


Revelio

by minalima2349



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: Bill Weasley is an arsehole but we love him anyway, Canon Universe, During Canon, F/F, F/M, Female Player Character (Hogwarts Mystery), Gryffindor, Gryffindor Player's character, Gryffindor Rowan Khanna, Magic, Multi, My First Fanfic, Post-Hogwarts, Rowan Khanna is a female, Rowan is a teacher at Ilvermorny, Rowan is alive, Rowan still has a crush on Bill, Video Game: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, why did we ever forget that Rowan had a crush on Bill? I refuse to let it go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 39,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22673296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minalima2349/pseuds/minalima2349
Summary: Rakepick's attack does not go as planned, Rowan survives and the Circle of Khanna is never formed. After drifting apart, Hogwarts Mystery characters are trying to sort out their messy lives as adults. The story starts around 1995 and the "calm years" until Voldemort returns are soon to be over.  Can they let go of all the lies and heart break and work together again?M/C is female and Gryffindor in this fic. Romantic relationships between the characters but I don't want to reveal the details :D
Relationships: Barnaby Lee/Original Female Character(s), Barnaby Lee/Player Character, Jae Kim (Hogwarts Mystery)/Original Female Character(s), Jae Kim/Player Character (Hogwarts Mystery), Multiple unexpected pairings :D, Player Character/Talbott Winger, Rowan Khanna/Bill Weasley, Talbott Winger/Original Female Character(s), canon + non-canon relationships
Comments: 70
Kudos: 48





	1. Part I. Piece. June 1995. Brooklyn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> If you're reading this for some reason, I need you to know a couple of things :)
> 
> 1\. English is not my first language so this work will be far from perfect and you may see some grammatical/spelling errors. I apologize if that bothers you! I chose not to write in my native language to challenge myself. I just felt like we're so emotionally invested in these characters, they deserve their own story lines. 
> 
> 2\. I've never written anything in my entire life so this is a total experiment, please don't judge too hard! 
> 
> 3\. The Main Character in this work is a female named Ava Sallow who was sorted into Gryffindor house which I thought was important for my story. I know everyone's character is different so I will intentionally avoid describing the M/C appearance. 
> 
> This makes Rowan a female and Murphy, Orion and Skye Gryffindors as well.
> 
> 4\. The events of this fic start around 1995 and I think I'll wrap it up after the Battle of Hogwarts. Throwbacks to Hogwarts years in between. I will be adding more tags and Relationship tags as the story progresses.
> 
> Thank you!

###  **Part I. Piece.**

June 1995. Brooklyn

Ava liked going through her post with a cup of coffee. She couldn’t remember when she picked up this American habit and stopped drinking tea. Their 4 o’clock tea with Rowan has always served as a reminder of home after they took a leap of faith and decided to leave England for good, rented a tiny two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn and became interns for the New York branch of Gringotts bank. She missed their little chats and gossiping with her best friend with whom she used to share the same bedroom just like they did at Hogwarts.

Their perfect little world burst like a bubble on a hot summer day about 3 years ago. Rowan packed her bags faster than you could say _Alohomora_ after receiving an offer for a teacher’s position at the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ava missed her friend, her roommate of so many years but she always knew that teaching was Rowan's dream and her calling. “Massachusetts isn’t that far” Rowan said to her with a smile that Merlin himself couldn’t wipe off her face. Ava always wanted to see “the American Hogwarts” but she’s been terribly busy after she officially became the bank’s full time employee. Rowan did come to New York for the holidays when she wasn’t visiting her parents in Aldershot. It wasn’t ideal but they made it work.

That morning Ava received two letters, a note and a package. The package was no surprise. It was June 27th. Black with a silver ribbon with no name of the sender and no return address. She’s been expecting it.

She started with the letters, first one from Rowan who’s owl Fuzzclaw (named after Rowan's beloved cat that passed away last Christmas) was sitting by Ava’s bed waiting for a treat earlier that morning. In her letter, Rowan was telling her everything about her recent week at the school, gossiping about the teachers and sharing hilarious stories of misbehaving students. Her letters were always cheerful and filled with the lively detail, she could clearly see her friend sitting at the desk in her bedroom with a window overlooking the famous Snakewood tree, smiling to herself while writing letters to friends and family. 

Teaching was Rowan's obsession. Though, there was another one: it was tall, handsome, had ginger hair and zero interest in Rowan. She knew Ava was still close with Charlie and never missed an opportunity to ask if there was any news from the Weasleys. It was no secret that Rowan was only interested in the oldest sibling and couldn’t care less about Charlie or his dragons. Which made keeping his little secret easier for Ava.

The second letter was from her parents. They were worried about Jacob (as always), kept asking questions about him but Ava knew about just as much as they did. He hardly shared anything with her these days. Secrets were always his thing. She knew their mom and dad were worried but she was tired of making excuses for her brother. It felt like he cut them all off from his life and it hurt. It hurt but she didn’t feel responsible for him anymore. 

She unfolded the note:

"Ava Sallow,

We need to talk. I’ve been thinking about this for months now and I’ve made up my mind. Meet me here after work, this is urgent.

Tulip"

“Here” meant at their apartment. Tulip was her only roommate after Rowan moved out and the person that occupied the second bedroom since the three of them moved to New York a year after graduation: young, hopeful and broken hearted.


	2. June 1995. Tulip

  
June 1995. Tulip.

Ava put the letters aside. Her coffee was already cold. She couldn’t remember why she made it in the first place, after all, she knew what day it was. The box. It was sitting on the table waiting to be opened.

 _“Revelio“_ \- Ava whispered, the box opened up revealing the object hidden inside. She knew what it was without looking at it, she could taste it on her tongue - a familiar flavor from her childhood. A Liquorice Wand, her favorite sweet from Hogwarts Express food trolley . There was also a note, as always. The note said:

“September 1st, 1984”

As always.

***

Ava never finished her coffee that morning. She was also three and a half minutes late for work and her boss Zrank gave her THE look. Like all the goblins, he was obsessed with precision and discipline and she knew he’d add a disciplinary note to her file. It’s not like Ava didn’t care, she just couldn’t care about being late that day. It was June 27th and it was the day she couldn’t focus on anything. She wanted to take a long walk after work, stumble upon some small park, sit on a bench, eat the other half of the Liquorice Wand, look at the sky, imagine that somewhere in Britain or wherever he is, he’s looking at the night’s sky while thinking of her. Of them together. Smiling at the memory of them. Tulip couldn’t have picked a worse day for “the talk”. 

_Oh, great, an owl from Bill._

They both worked for Gringotts but Ava spent most of her days at her desk (hooray paperwork! And then more paperwork). She did help with the security spells for the vaults but it’s not like anyone would be mad enough to break into Gringotts anyway, it was after all “the safest place in the world” as everyone kept saying. Bill went on what seemed to be never ending travels and adventures. His letter started with describing his latest trip to Egypt and the mummy's curse he had to deal with. Ava was both jealous (her friend indeed scored a job of her dreams right after graduation) and thankful that he shared his experience with her. He mentioned that she should move back (which he put in every letter he’s ever written to her) and that they were looking for a Junior Curse breaker at the London branch - Bill was happy to be her professional reference if she needed one. Ava put the parchment down. Was this the sign she’s been hoping for? The letter ended with “can’t wait to see you”. Merlin’s beard! She knew Bill Weasley was full of himself with his sharp mind and the good looks but did he really think he could convince her to move back with just one letter? 

***

Ava apparated straight to the corner of their apartment building. She knew Tulip was waiting for her in their tiny kitchen and she wanted a minute or two to herself. 

_Was this really a sign?_

She’s spent her whole day thinking about him and his beautiful smile and the way he managed to look as mysterious as he was handsome. As she finished the Liquorice Wand, she decided it was definitely a sign. 

As soon as she walked into their apartment she heard Tulip “Ava Sallow, where have you been? I told you to get you bum over here as soon as you can!” Her friend was pacing around the kitchen 

“My bum went straight home as soon as it could. Now would you stop with your interrogations, please? Your shift is over!” Ava replied. Believe it or not, but one of the most notorious tricksters Hogwarts has ever seen, Tulip Karasu, was working at the Federal Bureau of Covert Vigilance and No-Maj Obliviation as a Surveillor of Activity. Her parents were so proud, her friends found it hilarious. Professor Flitwich thought it was a joke until Tulip became an employee of the month, took the plaque with her last name off the wall and sent it to him. As her return address she put “not Azkaban”. 

“I received a response today” Tulip continued “Actually, before I get to the part, I wanted to let you know that I finally did it.. You know I wanted to be a mother and I feel like I’m ready. I love this place, my job is great, my boss is retiring in 2 years and that promotion is calling my name so the timing is perfect. I have these two years to adjust and if I keep waiting, I don’t know if I’m going to have another chance like this in the future..”

Ava knew where this was going.

“So I submitted my application for adoption. I know it sounds crazy but I want to have a child, I’m financially ready and MACUSA is more tolerant towards single parent adoptions than the British Ministry, they want these kids to have as little contact with No-Maj kids as possible.. Well he can’t have any real contact with them yet anyway, he is 6 months old, it’s a little boy. And he’s brilliant! Made one of the nurses levitate, that’s how my department found out about him“ As Tulip’s eyes started watering, Ava couldn’t keep a smile off her face “So I got approved. And I met my son today, can you imagine! If everything goes right, I’ll be able to bring him home in about a month. I’m sorry, I’m getting too emotional right now” Tulip moved her want “ _Accio_ , tissues! 

Tulip, that’s great, I’m so happy for you. I don’t know what to say but you can count on me, I’ll always be there for you,” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Ava remembered Bill’s letter and immediately felt guilty. Is she actually going to be here for Tulip and her son? She tried to push this thought aside “If you need anything, just let me know and I mean absolutely anything.”

“I really love you, Ava Sallow, thank you for reminding me why you’re one of my closest friends. I know it’s not going to be easy without a partner and I.. shit, you know that I always imagined raising a child with her and our future together, well.. never mind all that since I’m the only one who actually wanted to be an adult.. You know what I’m trying to say. She broke my heart and how am I still so hung up on her Is beyond my comprehension. Fuck her, I’m going to have a family I always wanted even if I have to do things my way!”

Ava didn’t know what to say. It’s a no brainer when your friend gets dumped - you just threaten to curse the asshole who dumped them. When your friend gets dumped by your other friend.. this is where it gets complicated. They’ve talked about it hundreds of times over countless of bottles of wine (and c couple of bottles of vinegar that they turned INTO wine, thanks to their sixth year Charms class). It’s not like Tulip didn’t date other girls in America, she just couldn’t let go of her first love. Ava didn’t know what to say that hasn’t been said already. 

"Have you picked a name for him yet?” all Ava managed to ask.

"Yes.. Edward “ Tulip responded with hesitation

“As in Edward - Edward?” Ava’s suspicion grew quickly

“..Ugh..As in Ted.. Or Teddy. Which ever you prefer” 

“Oh, Tulip..”


	3. June 1995. The Girls

June 1995. The Girls

Tulip Karasu was surprisingly mature for her age. She had a steady job, she had a vision for her future: she wanted to start a family and have kids. But she also had a broken heart that never truly healed and Ava was hoping this child fills Tulip’s life with so much love, there just wouldn’t be any room left in it for sadness.

They talked for a while. Tulip didn’t want to bring it up right away but it was obvious to both of them that she needs to find a different apartment. Ava didn’t mind, she knew a couple of witches from work that were looking for a roommate. She just wasn’t sure she would be staying here either.

They hugged and cried and had some tea, and then they laughed. It was close to midnight when Tulip realized what time it actually was and retrieved to her room. 

As soon as Ava entered her bedroom, she saw an unopened letter on her desk. There was something off about this one - the smell. It smelled so good.. She could definitely sense some wild fennel or wait, was that more like pages from the Daily Prophet? Now it totally smelled like Hogwarts quidditch field after the rain.

“Merlin’s beard” Ava murmured under her nose. She opened up the letter, the parchment color had a hint of pink in it, the flowers decorated its borders. The message said:

Dearest Ava,

Together with their families,

Penny Haywood  
&  
Murphy McNully

Invite you to their wedding ceremony  
Saturday, the 1st of July  
Nash Conservatory at the Kew Gardens

Ceremony at 4pm  
Reception to follow

“Are you kidding me?!” She heard Tulip exclaim from her room. 

***

The next morning Fuzzclaw was sitting at the edge of Ava’s bed again. Of course, Rowan got her invite too. Her letter said that Penny wanted to talk to all of them through Floo Network so Rowan was coming over later that night.

Ava had so many thoughts spinning in her head. The fact that Penny and Murphy were tying the knot didn’t come as a surprise: they were together for over 4 years and seemed perfect for each other. Ava had a suspicion that he had a crush on her during their school years but she was the most popular girl at Hogwarts after all so he was never brave enough to ask Penny out. And then the whole thing with Penny dating Andre happened.. Maybe it was a smart move for Murphy to be patient - as soon as they graduated and Andre signed his first quidditch contract, he broke the relationship off. He knew he wanted to be a famous quidditch player and that came with fans, parties and all the attention from girls. It did feel like Penny knew somewhere deep down that her relationship with Andre just wasn’t meant to be forever. Six months after their break-up, she was already going out with Murphy after he took his grandmother to St. Mungos where Penny worked as one of potion-brewers and finally asked her out. 

Work was dreadful. Ava could not believe the wedding was this weekend and she just found out about it. She was excited and antsy at the same time. But now Bill’s _“see you soon”_ made more sense to her, he probably already knew about the wedding. She couldn’t wait to see her friends and at the same time she was worried how well it was going to go. All the secrets, lies and break-ups stained their friendship. Tulip couldn’t bear to be in the same room with Tonks, Rowan acted like she was under the Imperius Curse when she saw Bill and Ava herself wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing certain people.

She apparated to a shop near their place to get a bottle of wine. Merlin knows, they will need it tonight. 

***

Rowan and Tulip were already waiting for her at the apartment. As soon as Rowan saw Ava, she rushed to put her into a tight embrace “I’ve missed you! Now hurry up, it’s almost 11pm in London”

Penny’s face emerged from the flames “Hey girls!” 

“Penny, I gotta ask: what the hell??” Tulip started, “Congratulations and you’re so great together but what the actual hell? Why didn’t you tell us you were getting married?”

“Girls, I don’t want you to be mad,” Penny responded calmly “But I’m here to tell you something. We were going to have a wedding this winter on the day of our first date but.. We’re pregnant!” 

Rowan gasped “Merlin, Penny! Congratulations!” 

“You’re going to be such a great mom!” Ava added. “We were not mad, we just didn’t know you had such a wonderful surprise for us! Congrats to both of you!”

“As soon as we found out, we decided to get married as soon as possible” Penny carried on “It’s always been a dream of mine to get married at the Kew Gardens, I used to go there with my dad and Bea before she became a complete weirdo. I can’t imagine not having my closest friends there with me on my wedding day. I know it’s such a short notice and given my condition, instead of a hen party, I just want you girls to get ready with me before the wedding so we can chat and set the mood for the day. Tulip, I know you and Tonks haven’t ended things on good terms, but that would mean the world to me if..”

“About that” Tulip interrupted “Penny, I’d love to be there for you guys but I have something to tell you and Rowan too, actually. I am adopting a six month old boy and I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it. I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll make it up to you somehow, I just can’t leave the country right now while I’m in the middle of this process, I have to start looking for a new apartment, pack my things, sign a bunch of papers..”

“Are you kidding?” Penny responded. “This is wonderful news! Our kids are going to be almost the same age! I’m so happy for you and I completely understand”

“So who’s all coming?” Rowan asked impatiently.

“Well,” Penny answered, “I was going to ask you, Ava and Tonks to be my bridesmaids. Don’t worry about the dresses, I already picked out gorgeous gold dresses for you all. I wasn’t going to let everyone wear their house colors to make my wedding party look like Hogwarts coat of arms. Ben and Diego are coming, Badeea promised she’d make it, Jae never bothered to respond but knowing him, he still might show up...Liz..”

“What about the Weasleys?” Of course Rowan was going to ask that, it was hard for Ava not to roll her eyes.

“Yes, and the Weasleys, well only two: Bill and Charlie,” these words made Rowan’s face light up. “And don’t worry about not bring a plus one, most people are on their own: Ben, both of the Weasleys, Liz, Chiara, Barnaby..” They all gave Ava a stare.

“Merlin, Penny, did you decide to invite everyone’s exes?” Tulip was almost laughing.

“Yes, and I invited mine too. All in the name of good faith. Don’t look at me like that, Ava, Andre is bringing his new girlfriend, can’t remember which one it is, I think I saw a picture of the two of them in a tabloid. Oh, I know Barnaby will be staring at you with those green doe eyes all evening”

“Will all of you please stop? We broke up ages ago” Ava said in a defensive tone

“Right, but you were always that kind of couple that everyone knew was going to make their way back together and live happily ever after” said Penny. Rowan and Tulip were silent.

_It did always feel that way._

“Whether we do end up together or not is none of your business. Let’s not talk about me right now, Penny, you have to tell us if you need any help with the planning or decorations..”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Penny laughed. “The former head of Celestial ball decorating committee does not require anyone’s help. Also, in case you were wondering, yes, all the inventions were infused with a micro dose of Amortentia” 

The girls were laughing. Ava was so happy for her friends but she wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing Barnaby again. She didn’t want to admit it, but she missed him.


	4. Throwback. He said he’d wait

Chapter 4

He said he’d wait.

He said he’d wait. He said he doesn’t mind competition as long as she still liked him. He wasn’t lying. He waited patiently, never giving a time of the day to other girls around him. When they went to the Celestial ball during their forth year, he was looking at her with complete adoration in his eyes. She knew from now on, he belongs to her and no one else.

He was slowly building a connection with her as they grew older, slowly getting closer to her, gaining her trust. And she always felt safe with him. They all did. She knew he wouldn’t let anything bad ever happen to her. Not to mention, he grew up to be so tall and handsome with his dark brown hair, strong arms, big green eyes that always looked directly at her across from the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. 

Ava took her time. She enjoyed knowing that she’s the only girl on his mind. She enjoyed Ismelda’s discomfort - Barnaby never tried to hide his adoration. It was obvious to everyone he was head over heels in love with Ava and no one else stood a chance. Although he did have a small fan club of Slytherin girls that followed him around, he was handsome and a pure-blood after all, a perfect Slytherin bachelor.

The sign Barnaby has been hoping for came in the beginning of their 7th year. Ava was tired of danger, she was tired of uncertainty. She wanted someone who was strong but protective of his loved ones, confident without being cocky and someone who doesn’t always have to be right. And she already loved him. She did. She just needed to let herself love him. Ava woke up that morning with one thought in her head.

 _Enough._

She found Barnaby at the Courtyard, came up to him and put her palm on his chest. She tried to find the right words but there was no need for any - they knew the moment was right and he kissed her right in front of everyone. Ava was overwhelmed with joy.

They kissed tenderly in the halls in between classes, held hands everywhere they went, she had never felt more loved in her entire life. Their feelings for one another blossomed in the most organic way to no surprise of their friends and even teachers. 

All the good memories they shared. Barnaby lying in the green grass with his head in her lap and Ava is touching his hair. Barnaby smiling at her across the hall. Carrying a Bowtruckle on his shoulder. Walking back to Hogwarts after another trip to Hogsmeade and holding hands. Tulip’s plan to make Barnaby turn on Merula and their first real conversation in the Three Broomsticks when she finally got him to open up. What did he say to her?

“Slytherins have _interesting_ childhoods.”

Such an accurate thing to say for someone Snape called stupid nineteen times in one day. She never viewed Slytherins as bad people, they just had a dark side to them and it had to come from somewhere. That one phrase explained so much.

All the painful memories they shared. How the dark artifacts and people fighting reminded him of home. The time she practiced Legilimency on him and saw all of the terrible things his father said and did to him. That made her glad his parents were in Azkaban. How he hugged her tightly that night after Rakepick’s attack in the Forbidden forest and kept apologizing that he wasn’t there. And then another, after their graduation, the look in his eyes when she told him she needs to take a break from everything that’s going on, a break from him. She felt terrible about that one. 

And then there was one that was the worst of all. The night of the party at the Hufflepuff common room after the N.E.W.T.s. A bottle of Firewhiskey that Jae managed to sneak into Hogwarts they all shared. All of her friends, so young and drunk, Tonks making out with Tulip while they all cheered -Tulip’s feelings for Tonks have been so painfully obvious to everyone. 

They left in the middle of it and went straight to the Gryffindor common room, right to her dorm that was completely empty with everyone at the party. He kissed her deeply and she melted in his arms. When he asked if she was sure, his voice tense from the desire, she nodded. And then his words, when he kissed her good-bye before going to his common room for the night “I love you. Thank you for trusting me to be your first”.

_Well, here’s the thing: he wasn’t._

But mostly it was good and genuine and everything he did screamed _I’m the one. _She knew what was between them was real love. She was just lost, hurt by the brother that disappeared with no explanation, parents that were only worried about Jacob, all that madness going on around her. The truth is, she needed to think, she needed to get away from everything and everyone. That’s why she moved to New York, that’s why she broke his heart. He was the right guy, the timing was wrong.__

__He said he’d wait and she never needed to put his words to a test. But now she wondered._ _

____

_Did he actually keep the promise?_

***

It was Saturday. Ava and Rowan were standing in front of a Portkey. Well, the Portkey that looked like a plain paper cup someone didn’t bother to throw in the garbage.

“I know what you’re going to say, but I think this time it might work out” Rowan broke their silence . Ava opened her mouth to respond “I know, please don’t say anything. I can’t stop thinking about him, all these years and my feelings have never changed. I’m not an idiot, I know he’s not in love with me, but that night meant something. I’m telling you, it felt like there was something real between us, I’m not making this up..”

On any other day Ava would tell Rowan that she’s being delusional and even if Bill ever settles down, it’s not going to be with her, that she deserves someone better. But she was not in the mood for a lecture. She had that tingling feeling in her stomach that today was going to change things for them. 

All she said was “I know how you feel about him and if that’s what you want, I trust you. Just be careful. And to be honest, I am really nervous about seeing Barnaby. I know it’s been so long, but maybe.. Maybe we still have a chance?” 

Ava looked at her watch "Merlin, it's time", she picked the cup up and reached out to Rowan.

“I have a really good feeling about today” Rowan smiled at Ava and grabbed the other end of the cup.


	5. July 1995. The wedding

July 1995. The wedding

“Why does it still feel like I’ve been run over by an erumpent every damn time?” Rowan asked when they landed in the Kew Gardens. The girls were meeting Penny before the ceremony starts.

“Oh look!” Ava pointed in the direction of a tent set up right ahead of them. “This gotta be it!”

“Thank Merlin for Charmed Wizarding Tents!” Rowan exclaimed as soon as they entered.

Like all the magical tents it was very spacious with a vanity table set up in the corner right next to a huge mirror. Penny was putting her earrings in and as soon as she saw her friends in the reflection, she smiled. 

“You’re here! Oh how I missed you two!” She rushed to hug the girls.

“Penny, you look stunning. Can’t believe how gorgeous your dress is! You’ve always been a perfection but you truly outdid yourself today” Said Ava as her hands rested on Penny’s shoulders. 

“I’m about to start crying just from looking at you!” Rowan added.

“You girls are about to look amazing yourselves” Penny winked at them. “Now time to change!”

As soon as both of the girls changed into beautiful dresses, both gold color with flowy silhouette and a deep v-neck, Penny turned to Ava. “Let me fix your hair, I know a perfect charm.”

“Rude” 

“Sorry, apparition does your hair no good” Penny laughed. “This calls for a toast” Penny summoned champagne flutes that were already full “I’m raising my glass of pumpkin juice to my friends who always remained loyal and stayed by my side no matter what. You’re a part of my family and I love you.”

“Am I still a part of the family?” A blonde girl wearing the same bridesmaid’s dress emerged from the entrance to the tent. Wicked smile, hair just like Penny’s but shorter.

“Beatrice! Long time no see” Ava exclaimed as Beatrice gave girls brief hugs - she has softened a bit throughout the years “is your rock star boyfriend joining us today?”

“Nah, Kirley is on tour in New Zealand at the moment.” Beatrice caught a champagne flute that was floating in the air towards her “To my sister, you’re as perfect as they come which is really annoying but you’re the only one I have and I love you. Cheers”

Ava took a sip of champagne. “Where’s Tonks?”

“Wotcher!” they heard as their pink haired friend entered the tent. 

“Tonks, you look like a mess! Let me fix you, we need to hurry!”

***

Girls were lined up in front of a beautiful greenhouse ready to enter before the bride and her father. Beatrice was first, followed by Tonks, Ava, and Rowan. Tonks turned around to Ava, a question in her eyes.

“She’s not here, Tonks” Ava whispered before her friend had a chance to ask.

“It’s for the best.”Tonks nodded. “I know they weren’t the best of friends with Penny but I thought she’d be here. I guess she still hates me that much”.

Before Ava was able to say anything, they heard the music start and the doors opened. 

“It’s time” Rowan whispered.

****

“You may kiss the bride!”

As the ceremony was over, the greenhouse set up was changing. The dining tables appeared and the chairs from the sitting aisles levitated to the tables they belonged to. There was a dance floor in the center of it. Ava didn’t have a chance to take a good look around during the ceremony so she was trying to find familiar faces in the crowd.

“I think our table is right over there,” Rowan pointed to the right. “Hey Ben!! I missed you, Head Boy!” 

Ben was standing in front of them. And Merlin has he changed. Ava couldn’t believe how tall Ben got. But he still had the same brown eyes, dapper haircut and looked as serious and important as ever. Ben has spent the last 4 years working for the ministry. Ava had no doubt he’d pick The Department of Magical Law Enforcement as his career choice but the Auror’s office was out of the question. His N.E.W.T.s results were a bit of a disappointment - Ben got an A in Potions. So he settled for the Investigation Department.

“Ben! Great to see you” Ava gave one of her best friends from school a warm hug. “How have you been? How are things at the ministry?”

“It’s a mess, something is going on,” Ben lowered his voice. “You’ve heard what happened last Saturday at the third Tri-Wizard Task, right? Wait, I think I see Barnabas over there, let me go talk to him. Let’s catch up in a moment, I’m sitting at the same table as you girls.” Ben disappeared into the crowd. Ava didn’t mind, she was curious about that Potter kid and Daily Prophet’s editor-in-chief might give Ben some insight. 

“He’s coming our way, how do I look?” Rowan asked, panic in her voice.

“Ava!” Bill pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re finally back home. We have so much to talk about, the curse I mentioned in the letter somehow spread..Tonks is this you? In a dress? That’s what I imagined your boggart would look like!” That made everyone laugh.

“Hi, Bill!” Rowan said with the most innocent look on her face. “Long time no see”

“Oh hey Rowan, didn’t notice you there. How’s life at Ilvermony? You’re teaching, right?”

“Yes, history of magic,” Rowan blushed from the attention. “We are actually looking for the defense against the dark arts professor right now, I remember how brilliant you were..”

“What the hell?” Bill interrupted her. “Ava, did you know about this?”

“I did.” Ava smiled while the rest of the crew couldn’t hide their surprise. Charlie was coming their way and he was holding a girl by the hand.


	6. July 1995. The wedding, part 2

July 1995. 

The wedding, part 2

Charlie was coming their way and he was holding a girl by the hand. Liz. It was Liz.

“Am I the last one to find out about this?” Bill exclaimed.

Charlie pulled Ava, then Rowan and Tonks into a hug. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages! Can’t remember last time we were all in the same room together.”

“Clearly you were quite busy,” Tonks winked at Charlie. “I think I see Sprout over there, let me go say hello. It was good to see you, Lizard!”

That made Ava almost chuckle. Tonks was never a fan of Slytherins, no exceptions.

“Yes, good to see you both,” Bill said. “At least I didn’t find out about you two at your own wedding!”

“Common Bill, we just started dating. I am doing a research on Nogtails in Romania, actually. They serve as prey for dragons in the region so I reconnected with Charlie and well..”

Truth be told, Ava knew about Charlie and Liz for a few months. They made sense together: both intelligent, honest, shared love for magical creatures. Everyone knew they’d become Magizoologists of some kind. At the same time they mostly kept to themselves and had trouble opening up to people. When Liz was sent to Romania to do her research for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, she connected with Charlie and they immediately hit it off. 

“We’re happy for you guys, Bill’s just joking,” Ava said. “I think we should head to our table. She was screening the crowd with no success.

As the group was making their way through the crowd, someone grabbed her by the hand and her heart sunk. Ava turned around. 

_Oh, it’s just Tonks._

“Hey..”

_Tonks looks really uncomfortable._

“I really didn’t want to be the cause of all this mess, I hope Penny is not mad that Tulip didn't come.” Her hair color was slowly changing from pink to orange.

_Oh Merlin, she totally is anxious._

“Tonks, calm yourself. Orange hair does not go well with your dress by the way. And Tulip didn’t skip the wedding because of you. I mean.. she’s adopting a baby boy that’s why she couldn’t make it. Like she always wanted. Hey, I have to tell you something. She is naming him..Merlin’s beard!”

"Are you drunk? What are you talking about?"

Ava did not answer. She _saw_ him. It’s like everything has slowed down around her and then started spinning really fast. Barnaby was standing across from her talking to professor Sprout. With his arm around a girl’s waist. The girl was wearing an elegant silver slip dress that matched her hair color. The round medallion on her neck, as always. Her delicate frame leaning on Barnaby. The air left her lungs. 

_Chiara._

****

“This two-faced bitch! And I’m not talking about her werewolf form!” Ava whispered angrily to Rowan. She was sitting at a table with her friends, Rowan on one hand and Tonks on the other. The evening was just getting started but she couldn’t remember how many champagne glasses they had. 

Bill was sitting in between Tonks and Ben, the three of them talking about Ministry’s affaires in lowered voices. Ava didn’t care to join that discussion after what she just saw. Charlie and Liz were seated next to Rowan but those two have been preoccupied with each other.

“Do you want me to hex her?” Rowan said. “I would totally do that for you. Have they even spoken to each other back in Hogwarts?”

“Care for a dance?” Ava looked up, she was so angry she didn’t notice the wizard that came up to their table. Diego was standing right in front of her. As fit and smug as ever. Being a Hit Wizard, his job required Diego stays in shape. 

“Diego! So great to see you, of course I’ll dance with you.”

The band was playing one of Celestina Warbeck’s hits, Ava couldn’t tell which one, she never cared for her music. It reminded her of mom and that reminded her of Jacob, all the secrets, the vaults, the Forbidden forest, the green light, the body on the ground.

_Stop thinking about it, it's your friend's wedding._

Diego put his arm on her waist and took one of her hands in his. They started moving slowly to the music. 

“Have you heard the news? I wish I was there to arrest that fucker.”

 _He’s gotta be talking about Barty Crouch Junior. What a scandal._

“Right, he’s lucky the dementors got to him first.” 

Diego couldn’t hide his satisfaction with her answer. He hasn’t changed a bit. 

“Don’t be so upset about Barnaby and Chiara, I never understood what you saw in him in the first place. You were always too good for that bloke.”

“Are you trying to chat me up? Feels like our 5th year all over again.”

“Maybe I am,” Diego laughed. “I did always feel bad for the girl. She was crushed after Jae ended things with her.”

_Jae and Chiara? What the hell!_

“Jae dated Chiara?” Ava tried to contain her surprise.

“Dated is a strong word for it, Jae is not a dating type. Don’t look so shocked, we, Hufflepuffs, are pretty tight, and we keep each other’s secrets,” he said proudly, “as I was saying, that guy is not one to commit, they've been seeing each other on an off for the first half of sixth year. He even got her a Wolfsbane potion as a Christmas gift and then the next morning told her he doesn’t like her that way and he can't hang out with her anymore. Found her in our common room in tears, we were pretty much the only people that stayed for the winter break that year. Never liked the guy.”

Before Ava could say anything, the song was over. She saw Andre wave at her. “It was nice catching up, I’ll see you around,” she said to Diego.

***

“Hey Andre! Wow, nice suit! How’s my favorite quidditch player these days?” 

_He wasn’t._

Andre got signed by Pride of Portree after graduation and has been a seeker like he’s always wanted. Ava rarely received letters from him but she could find out everything about Andre's personal life from the tabloids. Ava saw articles about him in celebrity gossip column with pictures of Andre showing off his new girlfriend at some fancy restaurant or accepting the Most Stylish award year after year. 

“If it isn’t the infamous curse-breaker in the flesh,” Andre kissed her on the cheek, “I’m at the table with the quidditch crowd. You should come say hi.”

_Surprisingly, it still felt weird that she was not a part of that crowd anymore. They were once so close._

“Is Skye there?”

“Of course she is, probably still mad at you. You know you were good at it too. You could have made a career out of it. I’m not complaining though, one less dangerous rival to face on the field for me.” He smiled.

Of course he was’t complaining. Ravenclaw won the Quidditch cup during their 7th year. Skye was furious when Ava left the team after the 6th year with no explanation and blamed her for their loss. Ava understood why Sky was so mad but she had her personal reasons that Skye could never understand, Quidditch was the only way of life she knew. She made it on The Caerphilly Catapults team and received at least 3 Dangerous Dai Commemorative medals. Orion joined The Appleby Arrows. Murphy wrote Sports column for the Daily Prophet and sometimes covered as a Quidditch commentator. You didn't need a crystal ball to tell the future for these four, even Trelawney could have easily predicted it. 

She decided it’s best to face Skye sooner than later. Ava saw Orion and Sky sitting at a table together and headed their way. 

“Hey guys,” she awkwardly waved at them, “glad you’re here.” 

“Hey Sallow, how is life in America?” Skye was actually smiling at her. 

_This is not too bad._

“We were just talking about all that drama with Rath,” Skye continued, “you know she’s a beater for Holyhead Harpies now? I always hated her guts but she's an excellent player.”

“Hate is a powerful emotion. It can be used as a tool.” 

_Orion will never change._

“Hello Ava! Happy you made it. I was only 87.3% sure you would.” Ava was so excited to see Murphy.

“Congratulations, mate!” She hugged him, “So happy for you and Penny. I’m a 100% sure you’re going to make her very happy.”

“Time for the best man’s speech.” Orion got up and raised his glass, “Marriage is a beautiful balance..”

_Merlin, this is going to be a long one. She needs another drink._

***

Ava wanted to check on her make-up before going back to her table. As soon as she opened up the door to the Witches room..

_Chiara_

“Hey Ava” her voice sounded friendly, “Look, I hope this is not too awkward”

“Not awkward? Last time I saw you you were all “thanks for helping me I’m forever grateful” Ava mocked Chiara in a high pinched voice,”and now you stole my boyfriend? Is this how you’ve always been or did someone hit you with a bludger on the head?” 

“ _Your_ boyfriend? You broke up ages ago, he’s not your property. I was just trying to be nice for old times sake but forget it. I knew you were an attention seeker in school and I guess you haven’t changed at all.”

Ciara stormed past her hitting Ava with her shoulder and went right out of the door.

_Did she just do that on purpose? I need another drink._


	7. July 1995.  The wedding, part 3

July 1995. 

The wedding, part 3

This evening was not going the way she’s planned. Ava preferred not to think about Barnaby and Chiara together and tried to act like she’s actually having fun. Well, two hours and countless drinks later she was having a blast dancing with Tonks and Ben.

_We are a fucking mess._

“Where’s Rowan?” Tonks shouted at Ava over the music.

“Finally got her hands on Bill, not sure where they went. She still secretly hopes it might work out.”

“That’s strange, I thought he was seeing someone.” 

_For Godrik's sake, Bill!_

“She’s an intern at the ministry. French, I think” Ben added.

“Fuck..”

She saw Bill headed to their table, a drink in his hand. Ava needed to take a break from dancing so she followed him.

“I have to tell you something.” Bill started whispering very loudly, the way drunk people do when they think they are being discreet. “It’s going to sound totally nuts,but Rowan and I just shagged in some closet. Can you imagine?” 

_Fuck._

“Bill, you’ve slept with her before.”

“What?” Bill looked genuinely surprised.

“Merlin, you haven’t changed one bit. Tonks 18th birthday party? You got shitfaced at Leaky Cauldron, almost got into a fight with Barnaby because you said all Slytherins are arsholes. She apparated you to her place?”

“Merlin, you’re right, I think I remember now. Do you think she fancies me or something?”

_She’s only been in love with you since her second year._

“You know,” Bill kept on going, “I always thought you and I might one day..you know. There was always chemistry but the moment was never right.”

“And it’s clearly for the best. I’m out” Ava didn’t want to hear another second of this non-sense.

***

_What an arse, I need to find Rowan to make sure she’s.._

Ava was so preoccupied with her thoughts, she ran into someone.

“Hello.”

_It's him._

“Hey, you,” she looked at him from under her eyelashes, “I see you’ve been well. Care for a dance?”

_Why the fuck did I just say that?_

His soft lips stretched into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He held his hand out, inviting her to join him. 

_Okay, this is not too bad._

As soon as she touched him, she knew this was going to sting. His body felt so familiar, it felt like they came to celebrate the union of their friends together and now are just sharing another dance.

“I didn’t want you to find out this way. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Oh I’m so glad you’re happy together, didn’t I introduce you?” Ava said before she was able to stop herself. 

“Happy? You don’t know a half of it,” he tightened his grip on her. “Penny helped Chiara get a job at St. Mungo’s but it’s harder and harder to find excuses with every passing moon, do you think they are going to keep her once they find out the truth? My mother died in Azkaban this May..”

“Fuck, B” Ava’s sarcasm immediately disappeared “I didn’t know.. I am so _so_ sorry,” she looked into his eyes. “I wish you would have told me.”

“You need to let go of me.” He stopped moving but was still holding her. “She may not be you but she’s struggled too and she _gets_ it. If you just stop giving me hope you’ll make it easier. Please don’t give me any hope.” The words were harsh but his eyes were soft looking right into hers.

_Is he about to kiss her?_

The thought was so bizarre but she still remembered what it felt like: all the sorrow, all the burdens and danger, he always made it disappear with a kiss.

It only lasted a moment. Then he turned around and left without saying a word.

***

Ava desperately needed some air. She left the greenhouse and walked towards the trees. Emotions boiling up inside of her like a volcano, about to explode. She needed some kind of exit. She’d Avada someone for a smoke.

“Fuck” she exhaled.

“Someone’s having a fun night. Need a smoke?”

_This is exactly who I needed to see right now._

Jae was standing in front of her, his tall boyish frame leaning against a tree. Messy hair, mischievous smile, always hiding in a plain sight. 

“Merlin, yes."

“I only have one so we’ll have to share.” He lit up a cigarette while getting closer to her. “For old times’ sake,” he exhaled and passed it to her, taking another step closer. “So what have you been up to?”

“Oh you know, the usual. Making sure I don’t Avada anyone while trying to keep sane,” she inhaled and passed it back. Then let the smoke out. “Rowan shagged Bill Weasley in some broom closet but guess what? He totally forgot this was not the first occasion so I’m going to deal with this later and I’m pretty sure Barnaby was not very happy to see me..”

“Don’t worry love, I can think of someone who’s _very_ happy to see you,” he smiled at her and slowly brought his face down to meet hers. The touch of his lips gentle at first.

“Evanesco,” Jae whispered and the cigarette disappeared. He deepened the kiss as Ava put her arms around him.

“I know a place,” she moaned into his ear.

  


***

He fucked her right on the floor of Penny’s bridal tent. It was fast but Merlin was it good. Perfectly intense and uncomplicated at the same time. She wanted something familiar with no strings attached. He could always deliver.

“Hold on, you have lipstick all over your face,” she started laughing. “Let me help”. He reached to pick up his shirt off the floor. 

_What is that?_

There was a big scar on his side at least 10 centimeters long. He caught her stare.

“It’s nothing”

“It’s not nothing. Are you in trouble? I knew you were still working with Mundungus..”

“It’s nothing,” Jae interrupted. “A side effect of my career choice” he softened his words with a smile, “don’t worry, being worried is not our thing, love,” He towered over her. “When you need to get high or a fuck, I’m at your service. I know my place,” his voice gave out a bit of sadness but he was still smiling “I’ll let you save all the worry for your lover boy.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Maybe just a little.” 

“Jae, Barbaby has a girlfriend now.”

“Why would you ever think that foul could make me jealous? You know who I’m talking about.”

She did.

***

After the newly weds left for their Honeymoon and most of the guests started to make their way home, she felt Tonks pinch her.

“Let’s go outside, I have a spliff. I’m too drunk to apparate home just yet.” Ava and Jae followed her towards the trees in the back of the greenhouse. 

“I wonder why they never mention this fun side effect Gillyweed has when you smoke it in Herbology books?” Jae asked as soon as Tonks passed it to him.

“Sprout is still inside,” Tonks laughed “Go ask. She always thought you were one of the Hufflepuffs anyway! Don’t look at me like this, you wore that yellow hoodie all the time, remember.”

“Maybe she knew about this side effect of Gillyweed all too well?" They all shared a laugh. "Also, it was not yellow. It was gold.”

“Mate, it was definitely yellow. Pass this on.”

_Beatrice._

She was carrying an open bottle of champagne that she handed to Tonks. “Don’t look at me like that I’m not still that 12 year old you’ve met at detention.” She took a big hit.

“To us, some of us still the rebels we once were.” Tonks proclaimed and took a sip. She passed the bottle back to Beatrice.

They saw André walking away with his stumbling girlfriend who clearly had too much to drink. Andre waved goodbye and the four of them waived back. Then the couple apparated. 

“To the only thing my sister and I had in common.” Beatrice took a sip from the bottle. Everyone looked at her, stunned. “Don’t judge, they were broken up already and it was a one time thing.”

“No judgment, I’d hit that too,” Rowan walked up to them and stood beside Ava. She had that look on her face. A look of the person who’s been drinking all night and is finally getting sober, processing everything that had happened the night before, the sharpness of the thought not all the way back yet. “Plus, I think I won as far as making stupid choices.” Ava looked at her but Rowan was looking straight ahead. “Pass the champagne.”

“To one that couldn’t join us today even though he deserves these happy moments the most. I hope he’s found peace wherever he is.” Rowan raised the bottle. “To Talbott” she took a big sip.

“To Talbott” they all said in unison.

Ava caught Jae’s look with a corner of her eye.


	8. Throwback. The Forbidden Forest, 6th Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rakepick attacks the students at the Forbidden forest. A life will be taken but things are not going to go according to her evil plan.

Throwback. The Forbidden Forest, 6th Year.

The forest grove is dark, illuminated only by hexes flying back and forth through the air. Ben is the last one out of them standing, reckless enough to try to defeat Rakepick.

Rakepick lifts up her want with an evil grin on her face. The split second when they all realize their world is about to change. The split second of horror.

“Take _this_ lesson to your grave!”

_Rowan!_

Rowan jumps our of nowhere and shields Ben with her own body.

_No._

_This isn’t happening._

_They've lost._

“ _Avada Kedavra!_ ” the scream cuts through the forest grove.

The green light is so bright.

A lifeless body falls down never to move again. Her open eyes staring into the night sky.

They turn their heads to see where the scream came from. 

Talbott is standing still with a wand in his hand. With fear in his eyes.

***

“We will explain what happened, it was self-defense,” Ben is trying be logical but his hands are shaking. “We will sort this out.. say something!” He turns to Ava.

She wants to say the right thing but she can’t come up with anything. For the first time in her life.

The first shock wave starts disappearing and in its place, panic starts settling in.

Merula is the one to break the silence: “For Merlin's sake, we all know how all this is going to go down. They won’t give a dragon's arse about what we have to say, the ministry would never admit they let a complete psychopath teach at Hogwarts. Ben, don’t look at me like that. He’s going to Azkaban and I think you all know it.” She turned to Talbott, ”Think, Winger, you've casted an unforgivable. If you get lucky and don’t get the dementor's kiss, you’ll spend the rest of your life with You-Know-Who supporters. This is so fucked up!”

“This can’t be happening” Rowan kneeled down and covered her face with her hands.

_What's that sound?_

Some four-legged creature approaching fast.

“Talbott, you need to come with me. Now.”

_Jacob._

__

__

_Jacob?!_

_On a freaking Thestral?!_

“What are you doing here?” Ava had so many questions.

“Not now,” he told her abruptly. Then turned to Talbott “Dumbledore has sent me, there’s no time to explain. You can to come with me but I warn you: this is not going to be easy. If you prefer to stay and fight this, chances are you’ll rot in Azkaban for the rest of your days. Choose wisely.”

Talbott stared at Ava for a few seconds. Then grabbed Jacob's hand and got on the Thestral right behind her brother. They took off and, in a few seconds, they disappeared.

“That’s the first time I saw a Thestral..” Rowan said.

“Who cares about the Thestral, Khanna," Merula exclaimed angrily, "How can a 16 year old cast an unforgivable?” 

The forest was quiet and calm again. Ava turned around and looked straight at Rakepick's body.

_You have to really mean it._


	9. July 1995. Home

_Cedric Diggory._

Cedric Diggory was the kid that got killed during the last task. Apparently the ministry was trying to keep the identity of the deceased student in secret for as long as they could. 

_So they could twist the story enough until it starts benefitting them,_ Ava thought to herself.

Ben helped her apparate to her parents cottage in Dartford. And then he took both of her hands in his and told her. She sobbed quietly into his chest while they stood in front of her childhood home. 

“There are bad rumors going around, Ava. Rumors that I don’t want to be true.. I just wanted us to have one careless night and Murphy begged me not to talk about it at the wedding…Cedric was a good bloke.”

“He was..” Ava whispered.

***

She had a gut feeling about the victim being one of the contestants but she tried not to think about it. Now the memories of Cedric came flooding back. She saw his pictures in the American papers during the school year, after all, the Triwizard tournament was an important international event. He grew into a handsome young wizard. But in her own memory he was still a boy, very gifted and protective of the fellow Hufflepuffs, nonetheless, just a boy.. She wondered how he died, if he was scared or fighting fearlessly until the very end. Did he really know what he singed up for when he threw his name into the Cup?

_And his dad.. what was his name? Amos. He must be crushed._

She met him at the Hagrid’s birthday party once, he was nice enough to help her find a gift for Hagrid. Amos seemed like a loving and proud father. 

Ava was laying in the bathtub. She slept throughout the day and decided she needs to soak her body in a tub full of bubbles after the long night. Now the bubbles were all gone and the water was getting colder with every minute. To be completely honest, she was also hiding from her parents in there. Ava hated every second of her mum’s happy chatter about Penny’s wedding and countless hints that Ava needs to find someone herself before it’s too late. 

“How is Rowan?" Her mom always made a point to compare Ava to her best friend. "This girl was always the smartest witch in your year and now a teacher at Ilvermony! Her parents must be so proud! You could have been a Head Girl too, you know. If only you had tried a bit harder, dear.” 

She didn’t want to participate in the discussion about Cedric with her father. Her dad, who’s been with the ministry for almost 29 years, and who’d dismiss any rumors about the you-know-who’s return with a condescending _“I know better, child”_ smile. Because _“this nonsense can not be true unless the minister himself says so”_. But somehow the worst, always the worst, was answering their questions about Jacob. In a sense, he kind of ruined the relationship between Ava and her parents. He forever stayed the missing kid, even after he’s been found. They showered her with questions she had no answers to, genuinely voicing their concerns for him. And she got it but sometimes Ava wished they’d worry about her the same way. Not only about seeing her married off to some wizard or her career choices. Somehow their concern for Jacob filled up all the space that was meant for both of their children. 

_I do hope you’re safe, arsehole._

Ava stepped out of the tub “Accio, towel”. She looked into the mirror above the sink - there was a message written on it, the kind that only comes through once the bathroom is filled with steam.

_10pm. Our spot._

***

Ava arrived to the Braeburn park 3 minutes early. She couldn’t afford the luxury of being late with Jacob, there was no way he would have waited for her. Always on the move, always in the dark, always in secret.

The park was dark and quiet. Not a nice place by any means with its uneven paths, steep inclines and overgrown bushes everywhere. Local muggles never fancied this place which made it a perfect spot for Ava to practice spells when they were kids. Her mum did not allow any use of magic outside of school, but Jacob let her use his want to practice spells. 

She heard a cracking sound and then saw him.

_Jacob_

Ava ran towards him and pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Hello, Pip.”

“I’ve missed you so much. Have you heard about Cedric? Oh what am I talking about, of course you have.. Do you think that the You-know-Who..”

“Pip” Jacob interrupted her mid sentence, “I do not have much time. You have to listen to me carefully now and do exactly as I say. You have to go back to America tomorrow and stay there. Do not, I repeat, do not come back here.”

“Are you crazy, mum is going to curse me if I don’t come home for Christmas. What is going on? Mum and dad miss you so much, can’t stop asking me questions about you. Are you sure you can’t spare 5 minutes of your time and actually visit them?”

Jacob sighed. His expression growing impatient. “You need to stop being so stubborn and follow my instructions, these are not some childish games. You’re a born Legilimens and a Pureblood.” 

_What was that look now? A concern? For her?_

“You have to stay away” Jacob continued, “If something were to happen, America is the safest place for you to be. But be careful, they have connections everywhere, if you ever feel like someone is trying to approach you..”

“You think some Dark Wizard will try to recruit me?” Ava said stunned, “Jacob, you need to tell me what you know. Or at least give me something. Please.. Are Death Eaters back? Is “R” back? I will not stay away from this fight, I want to help.”

“You know as well as I do that Rakepick was “R” and that bitch is dead” Jacob couldn’t hide his growing frustration, “You won’t leave me alone, Pip, will you?” He sighed, “The only thing you could possibly do is start learning Occlumency. To make sure you are able to protect your mind. You will need to find a teacher and it better be a good one. I have a perfect candidate in mind but you’re not going to like it.”

_Snape_

“Does it have to be him? He always hated me and last time he practically kicked me out of his classroom after telling me how useless and weak I was. Can't you teach me?”

“This is out of the question. You need to be discreet about it and Snape already knows you’re Legilimens. You can try pursuing him to give you lessons. Don’t turn to anyone new for help. It has to be someone we both trust.”

“But do you trust him?” Ava asked in a suspicious tone. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Snape. Always unpleasant, always rude but he never told anyone her secret as far as she knew. And Slytherins seemed to like him. “Are you sure it can’t be Dumbledore? I always had a special bond with the Head Master.” Ava didn’t want to admit it but she always prided herself on being one of his favorite students. Maybe his favorite even. Dumbledore once called her "chief Warlock Ava Sallow". It had a nice ring to it.

“Oh Pip, I hope you’re not stupid enough to think you’re still Dumbledore’s favorite. I can’t believe how naive you always were when it came to that man. We’re only figures on a chest board for him..” He stopped realizing he said too much, “Promise me that you will stay away from England and only come for Occlumency lessons if Snape agrees to them. But don't wander around the castle, go straight to the dungeons no matter how much you want to catch up with your old professors. Hogwarts may no longer be safe. Promise you’ll follow my instructions.”

“And where do the instructions come from for you then? From Dumbledore?” 

“You know I can’t tell you. I realize you want to help but you’re already helping by staying away.. by not distracting us. Please.”

“Secrets have always been your thing, Jacob..”

“Our thing, Pip.”

_He’s right._

“How’s Talbott?” Ava asked.

“Doing alright. I helped him get that gift for you. Luckily my sister has inexpensive taste and only requires candy from her admirers”, he winked. “Same gift every year, surprisingly poetic for a calculated mind like his. “Black for the night I last saw her. Silver for the mist before the sunrise.” Jacob paused for a moment and his grimace changed to disgust “Godric’s balls, does that mean what I think it means? I knew about you two but now I know the date you first shagged. Can you obliviate me?”

“It’s none of your business, Jacob”, Ava said, blushing. She was lucky that he couldn't see it in the dark.

“You’re right, Pip,“ Jacob sighed. "I have to go now, I stayed longer than I should have. Do you promise to go back to America tomorrow and stay there? I can’t afford the luxury of being on our mission, hiding a murderer and worrying about you at the same time.”

“Do not call him that”, she said shooting him an angry look. “He is a hero, not a murderer, he saved Rowan, he practically ruined his future to save my best friend.”

_Our future._

“I know, I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean it like that..",her brother responded calmly. “I've spent 5 years with the bloke, he is almost like a brother to me at this point," Jacob said shyly. "You know, Pip, if the circumstances are ever right, if he ever clears his name..I hope the two of you still get a shot."

Jacob cleared his throat awkwardly. “Now promise me. Promise that you'll stay away.” 

“I promise”, she sighed. “Tell Talbott I said..”

_I said hi? Give him my love? Can she be even more pathetic?_

“Tell Talbott that we miss him and think about him every day. That his sacrifice is not forgotten. That he is not forgotten.” She said looking straight into his eyes.

Jacob apparated away with a loud crack. Without even hugging her good-bye.


	10. June 18th 1996. You-know-who is back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost a year after Penny's wedding, Ava and her friends receive the news of You-know-who's return.

“Right in the open, in the Ministry of Magic! Merlin’s beard, how can this be real?” Rowan sounded appalled as she came through the fireplace straight into Tulip’s flat in Greenwich village where she currently resided with her 18 month old son Edward (as Ava kept calling him) or Teddy (as Tulip herself called him). It was late and the little boy was sleeping in his room. He was the cutest little angel Ava has ever seen and she loved him wholeheartedly. She often volunteered to babysit him when Tulip was out with her girlfriend Hannah who she started seeing about 4 months ago. 

“Can you be a little more quiet, please? Teddy is sleeping. I honestly can't keep it together, I even took some Calming Draught earlier. I’ve heard the rumors, of course, but my parents assured me..” 

“Right, so did my dad,” Ava interrupted her. “You can’t trust the Ministry. They’ve been bashing that poor Potter kid the whole year. And now what? Tomorrow’s issue of Prophet will confirm what he’s been saying all along.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the Minister himself resigns. Who would trust him after all this?” Rowan said. “Do you think that Tonks and the Weasleys are in danger? Merlin, what about Jacob?” She gasped covering her mount and looked straight at Ava.

“When has my brother ever _not_ been in danger?” Ava answered. Rowan smiled but it was not a happy smile. 

Ava hasn’t had a chance to spend enough quality time with Rowan recently. Rowan’s last encounter with Bill seemed to have given her a good idea about the lack of feelings the wizard had for her. She quickly moved on. Too quickly, if Ava was being honest with herself. But she was not the one to judge. Marc seemed like a nice guy, he owned a Magic Bookshop called “Finley & Sons”, the oldest one in America started by his great-grandfather. A good guy with a nice family and a neat bookshop, Marc wore glasses and elbow patch sweaters, his idea of fun was spending evenings with Rowan by the fireplace in his flat reading. His hair and flat were neat, his parents delicate enough to keep a distance from their only son’s personal life. The opposite of Bill with his long ginger hair, pierced ear, 6 siblings and a mother, the Weasley Matriarch who was painfully attached to her children. Marc seemed like a great match for Rowan. 

They all sat there in silence for a minute. 

“It may sound strange but if You-know-who returned” Tulip said, “the Gryffindors are not the first people I’d be worried about.”

“Do you think he’ll start the war with killing Muggles?” Rowan asked in awe.

“No, Rowan,” Ava said quietly, “He’ll start with building his army. He needs supporters and even if the old ones join willingly, he’ll need more.”

“You’re right, Sallow” Tulip’s expression grew dark. “He's used the Imperius curse before, he’ll use it again. He’ll threaten families, kidnap children. Torture. Anything to get you to do his dark biding. The purebloods will be tempted to join him. Some will be made to join.. I’m so glad that Teddy is here with me, where Macusa can protect us. Thank Merlin we live in a country where the blood status doesn’t matter.”

As soon as she mentioned her son’s name, the boy started crying in his room. His mother rushed to check on him.

“What should we do?” Rowan asked.

“I’ll arrange a Portkey. We need to go back to England to have a meeting. All of us.”

***

Two weeks have passed since You-know-who officially returned. The meeting Ava and Rowan talked about still hasn’t taken place. Things were complicated.

As soon as Tulip’s girlfriend Hannah heard their conversation about having a meeting with the old crew to clear things up, she was adamant to keep Tulip as far from England as possible. “This is not your war, babe” Hannah said while holding Tulip by the hand, “you have to think what’s best for Teddy now. Think about what’s best for us.” It didn’t take her long to convince Tulip to stay away and Ava accepted her choice. But she didn’t have to like it. And now she felt like she didn't like Hannah that much after all.

Marc had his concerns for Rowan but he was polite enough not to voice them, at least not in front of Ava. She knew she could count on Rowan regardless what her fiancee thinks of the situation. Her best friend was not a coward, she proved herself a true Gryffindor when she jumped in front of Ben to save him from the killing curse sent by Rakepick. 

Ben was ready to meet them whenever. He agreed that the war is coming and they need to discuss things in advance. Ava knew she could always count on Ben. He was one of her closest friends and also a Muggle born. She never really thought about his blood status until now. 

"Maybe we should come up with an escape plan? If things go wrong. You know, just in case." Rowan offered as soon as Ava voiced her concern about Ben to her. That moment she knew she wasn't the only one worried.

She wasn’t able to get ahold of Jacob but it was too early to panic. Sometimes it took him months to respond to her letters and Talbott never sent letters to anyone, all the communication went only through her brother.

Tonks was an Auror, you couldn’t expect her to have much free time, especially in times like these. Her response to Ava’s letter felt abrupt. Tonks told her that she had no time for such meetings and that she was working on more urgent issues. 

Jae offered to postpone the meeting till at least next month. But she knew he'd show up if they decided to hold one. Truth is, she saw him twice after Penny's wedding when he was doing his sketchy business in the States. Both times they apparated straight to her flat, he fucked her senseless, they got high and fucked again. It was their routine. 

The tone of Penny’s letter couldn’t hide her anxiety. A new mother (her daughter Amelia was born 5 months prior), she was scared for her family. Murphy talked about moving them to Scotland, closer to his family if things take a turn for the worst. She also mentioned something concerning: Chiara was fired form St. Mungo’s in the spring after staff’s suspicions grew strong. Penny was on her maternity leave so she wasn’t there to witness it. She wrote that she tried contacting Chiara but all of her letters came back unopened. No one knew where she was.

The most shocking letter came from Charlie. Same as Tonks, he explained to Ava that they are getting ready for the war and that he couldn’t share any details for obvious reasons. He was terribly busy. The Weasley family was safe but something terrible has happened. Liz disappeared 4 days ago and no one has heard from her. Being a Pureblood and an professional creature expert that she was, Charlie had his suspicions. But there was not a trace of her and no one knew what to do.

Not to mention, no one was able to get ahold of any other Slytherins. 

_It's time to write to Snape._


	11. January 1997. My only regret.

***

It took Ava four letters to convince professor Snape to respond to her. Longer to get him to teach her Occlumency.

It wasn’t until the Hogwarts winter break that she set up a meeting with her former Potions Professor. Ava apparated to the edge of the Forbidden Forest and walked to the castle, its magnificent towers covered in snow. She saw Hagrid’s Hut in the distance, smoke coming out of the chimney. Oh how she wished she could knock on his door instead and have a cup of tea with her old friend instead. Hagrid’s hugs were the best. His welcoming and friendly nature so opposite of the person’s she was so nervous to face.

But she made a promise to Jacob. He insisted that she saw no one else while at Hogwarts.

Once in the castle, she headed straight for the dungeons where the old Potions class was located. She was able to sneak into the dungeons unnoticed: most students were home for the Winter break. It felt strange that professor Snape kept his old office after he became the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor earlier that year. The news came as a shock and spread quickly among the Hogwarts alumni. There was always a rumor going around that this was his dream job that Dumbledore kept denying him in the past. She wondered what happened to change the Head Master’s mind. 

Ava knocked on the door. “Professor?”

“Come in,” She heard the familiar voice say.

Not much has changed since the last time she was here. The gloomy poorly lit room had dozens (or maybe hundreds at this point) of potions and glass jars sitting on the shelves, most covered in dust. How could one feel at home in a dark place like this was beyond Ava’s comprehension. Her former professor in his black flowing robes standing in front of her looking as miserable as ever, fit into this interior perfectly.

Ava cleared her throat. “Professor, I would like to thank you for agreeing to..”

“As arrogant as ever, I see. Tell me, Sallow, have you any idea how busy I am?” Snape said in a cold voice. His eyes, almost black, piercing her. “Don’t answer. Take a sit.” He said through his teeth while pointing to a wooden chair in the corner of his office. ”I shall warn you that these lessons are not going to be pleasant, I will challenge you and I require all my students to pay close attention. I hope you remember that.”

_I do, you mean old bat._

“I do, Professor,” Ava managed to answer politely. 

“This will feel very uncomfortable.” Snape smirked and continued, ”However, it may bring you some relief knowing that this is as unpleasant for me as it is for you.”

_Did he only agree to this for a chance to humiliate her like he did back in his classroom?_

“Get ready. I do not have much time and I do not wish to waste it.” 

_“Legilimens.”_ He didn't give her a chance to get ready.

Snape sliced into her mind without warning and it caught her by surprise, her Occlumensy walls did not last even a few seconds. The way he forced herself into her memories felt like a knife cutting into a cake: he was going through them effortlessly and it felt like cold steel was touching her mind. He rushed through her recent memories: he saw Ava look at herself in the mirror this morning before she headed for the portkey, he saw Hogwarts covered in snow with her own eyes. Found a memory from last week when Rowan had a free evening and they went for a stroll in Central Park. 

Then the scraps of last year's memories started pouring in: Little Edward's happy face at his 2nd birthday party in December. All the paperwork on Ava's desk she hated so much. A hand passing her a spliff.

“You need to resist. Have you no control over yourself at all? Haven’t they taught you anything at Macusa? Or would they hire anyone who’s not qualified enough to work for the British Ministry?”

She tried to resist. It was starting to get really painful. 

He went deeper. He saw Jacob’s face in the dark, the way he looked last time she saw him at the Braeburn park: dark circles around his eyes, shaved head, baggy clothes, too big for him. All the ways years on the run took its toll on her brother's appearance. 

_No, not Jacob. Please._

She couldn't let him see Jacob, couldn't betray her brother by giving out his location.

“You have to work harder if you want to keep me out of your precious memories. Do you think the Dark Lord is going to be as gentle as I am? Do you think you’ll have a chance against him?”

Hogwarts. Great Hall. Barnaby is looking at her from across the Slytherin table and smiling. Then another one, they are running down the corridor holding hands, finding an empty class room, Transfiguration this time. They skipped the Potions class for this. She is sitting down on top of the desk, Barnaby is standing in front of her, pressed against her. She kisses him deeply, and presses her whole body against his, his hands are on her thighs. She feels his hardness and reaches for the zipper on his pants. He moans into her mouth. It feels so good and safe and she wants him right then and there.

Then his hand grabs hers stops her from what she was about to do. Barnaby pulls away, he closes his eyes for a couple of seconds and bites down on his lower lip.

“I want this so bad. But I want everything to be perfect. I can’t mess it up with you. I only have one shot.”

She laughs and looks up at him “I love you, B. No matter what, I will _always_ love you.”

“It doesn’t look like you know the meaning of that word.” She heard Snape say coldly.

She tried to fight him, but the battle was lost. The guilt and shame she felt took over. Like a Manticore that smells a wounded prey and only becomes more vicious, Snape went after it.

Braeburn park.

_No, not this one._

_For Godric’s sake, not this one._

_June 27th 1990._

She is pacing around in the dark. Scared, impatient. 

She hears the movement of a large bird's wings in the air.

“Ava..” She turns around to face Talbott, he is already in his human form. 

“I..I’m sorry..” Ava rushes towards him in the memory.

“I am not,” He gazes straight at her. “I knew there was a storm coming.. I felt it. I’d do it again.”

She stares at him in shock, unable to find the right words.

“Are you afraid of me now?” He takes a few steps closer and cups her face with the palms of his hands. 

She is. But in a sense, there is something about him that always terrified her. His possessiveness, the need to control his actions. And his feelings - it seemed. The same exact thing always excited her. 

She shakes her head and raises her eyes to meet his. Talbott’s brown eyes have a glimpse of red in them. His features sharp. A beautiful young wizard, nonetheless, damned. The most handsome boy in their year. 

“I had to protect you, all of you. The dark wizards hunted down my family but I will not be another one of their victims. My only regret is thinking I’d have more time.”

“More time for what?” Ava asks, confused.

“For this.”

And he kisses her. His mouth is on hers, and it’s a mess of teeth and tongues, biting and grasping, their hands are everywhere. She presses hard into his skin threading her fingers into his hair, gripping it roughly. 

She hears her own moan in the memory and it snaps her back to the reality.

_I can’t let him see it._

“Please, stop!” Ava exclaimed. She could not withstand this humiliation any longer. She didn’t know what was worse, the fact that her Professor saw her most intimate moments or that she had to relive things she’s done again.

Snape looked furious.

“Do you think that the Dark Lord would stop? That he'd think twice before going through your most intimate moments? Or things you’re embarrassed of? Or the darkest, the lowest parts of your biography? ” His voice was cruel. “You Gryffindor girls snogging Slytherin boys in every empty classroom in the castle you can find. Do you find yourself very original?” He smirked. 

_Now he knows I was not honest with Barnaby._

“The tale as old as Salazar himself,“ Snape continued. ”You righteous lions holding everyone else to the golden standard you yourself could never meet! You find a brooding troubled boy and act like you want to help him find his path to the light. Pathetic! You just want to dip your toes into the dark magic, walk the line, feel what it’s like to be bad. But then someone always gets hurt!”

“He’d never hurt me!” Ava almost screamed. She couldn’t listen to his cruel words any longer.

“You?! I wasn’t talking about you, you foolish girl!”

Ava opened her mouth to respond and couldn’t get one word out. It stung. Because he was absolutely right. She hurt Barnaby. He trusted her completely and she hurt him bad. 

Ava turned around and went straight to the door. She grabbed the door handle but then stopped and sighed. 

“Professor, I must ask.“ She slowly turned to face him but didn’t work up enough courage to meet his gaze. “Have you heard from.. your Slytherin students recently? From my year? Liz Tuttle, Merula or Barnaby? Ismelda? I.. worry about them.”

“Wherever they are, they are as safe as everyone else with what’s going on in the Wizarding world.” Snape replied coldly.

She nodded and left without saying another word.

***

Ava was practically running towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest to apparate to her Portkey location. She didn’t look at Hagrid’s Hut, she didn’t turn around to admire the castle covered in snow. The guilt from the encounter with her Professor weighed heavily on her chest. The awkwardness of her last question. But she couldn’t leave without asking him. She couldn’t because she’d rather kiss a Dementor than come back to see Snape for another Occlumency lesson ever again. 

  



	12. June 1997. A one time thing

****

***

**June 30th, 1997**

It’s been 12 months since Liz went missing. The communication between the continents became more limited due to the rising issues in Britain. It was becoming harder and harder for Wizards and Witches to get an approval for a Portkey to travel to Britain. Tulip was glad that the American government kept the citizens safe, in her eyes MACUSA was taking all the necessary measures to keep the Death Eaters out.  
Ava was not as hopeful. For her, It became clear that MACUSA was hesitant to offer any assistance in the upcoming war.

“Girl, you need to go on a date!” Hannah told Ava last time she came to visit little Edward. “You know, Jeremy, one of my Ivermony classmates is visiting from San Francisco next week, you could show him around! We both were in Horned Serpent.” Ava shot her a confused look.” Don’t worry, I’d never try to set you up with a Pukwudgie!”

“Pukwudgie is basically their version of Hufflepuff.” Tulip clarified.

_Your ex-girlfriend was a Hufflepuff. The love of your life, remember?_

“I never had anything against the Hufflepuffs,” Ava said politely. She saw Hannah shoot Tulip a look that said “told you so”. 

“Thanks Hannah,” Ava continued, “but I have my mid-year performance review with Zrank coming up.” 

Ava tried to hide her annoyance. It was always the same story with Tulip’s girlfriend. Hannah’s go-to response any time Ava was voicing her concerns about Britain, was to chat her up or to try to set her up with one of her acquaintances. Ava couldn’t believe they were acting like nothing has changed. You-Know-Who was back! 

At first, Ava thought it was all Hannah’s influence but recently she started to seriously question her friendship with Tulip. What if there’s truly going to be another war? Will her friend just sit this one out in safety?

It was getting late. Ava kissed little Edward good-bye on the forehead in his sleep, grabbed some of Tulip's Floo Powder and went straight into the fireplace. 

Ava no longer felt welcome at Tulip’s.

  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
  
  


She came through the fireplace into her own living room still feeling irritated with her friend.

There was a young man standing in the middle of her living room. Tall, black messy hair, wearing Muggle clothes that helped him effortlessly get lost in a crowd: dark jeans and a grey t-shirt with a name of some Muggle band on it Ava has never heard of. 

“I’m sorry I showed up unannounced, I had to take care of something in Hell’s Kitchen. Brought you a gift.” He was holding a spliff. 

_How can anyone ever be mad at this man._

“I didn’t know if you wanted to shag or get high first.” A mischievous smile.

_I could never resist that smile._

“I want you to fuck me. Weed can wait.”

"I was hoping you'd pick that one.”

Ava went straight to him. She pulled him into a deep kiss, her tongue gliding against his, her fingers tangling in his hair. She felt him smile as he picked her up, her legs wrapped around his waste. He carried her like that into the bedroom. 

She didn't last very long and Jae was only moments behind her. His breathing became deep and fast and his hips thrust harder and faster until she cried out his name. One final friction and he collapsed next to her.

  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
  
  


They were laying naked in her bed. He sat up to light up a spliff. She noticed a new scar on his left arm. He caught her looking at it.

“I have to tell you something.” His boyish face became serious.

_He’s never that serious. This can’t be good._

“I’ve got news about..“ he sighed. “Chiara. Well, more rumors than news, I suppose.”

“What did you find out?”

“Do you know who Remus Lupin is?”

She shook her head.

_The name sounds familiar.._

“He is a werewolf. But he’s a good man. He was actually a DADA professor at Hogwarts.. I want to say 3 years ago.. The year when Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban. Didn’t last long, of course, as soon as the parents found out the truth about him, they wanted him gone. Not that it matters, that position’s got to be cursed,” Jae sighed ”Fenrir turned him when he was a child just like he did to Chiara.. to get back at his father.“

_That arsehole Fenrir._

“Remus Lupin was a part of the original Order of the Phoenix. There is a rumor going around that the Order has been summoned again, that the fighters from the Old War has started preparing for the new one. I’m sure they had a few new people join them.”

Ava nodded. There wasn’t a lot of them left alive after the First War.

“I’ve heard from one of my contacts that they send him on missions to negotiate with the werewolves, to talk sense into them. Not sure what they are hoping to achieve.”

“Werewolves are not all bad, Jae!”

“I know, I know.. Rumor has it, he didn’t succeed. But he came back with a lot of valuable information after being undercover for a while. The werewolves.. well you know they joined You-Know-Who during the First War. From what it looks like, they’d gladly do it again. They are assembling the packs, there’s a lot of violence in their camps. They capture the ones that..managed to get away in the past, the werewolves that didn’t want to be a part of the pack. To break them, to get them to submit.”

He got up from the bed and walked to the window. He stood there, not facing her. 

“Rumor has it, there was a female werewolf in their camp.. silver fur. You know how rare that color is for a werewolf. She was kept in a cage..”

“Oh, Merlin, do you think it’s her?“

“I hope it isn't. But something tells me.. They.. They break the wolves that don't want to join them. All the beatings and torture, and rape, they make them turn.. To join You-Know-Who and his cause.” There was a crack in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Jae. I know you two were.. close at some point.” He turned around and looked at her, a question in his eyes. “Diego told me.” She added apologetically.

“What else did he tell you?”

_He told me you dumped her. He gave me the exact date, actually. Called you a bastard._

“Don’t think he mentioned anything else.”

“She was a good person. Is.” He corrected himself immediately. “She is a good person. Chiara and I..”

Jae didn’t have a chance to finish what he was about to say.

A thin wisp of silver mist appeared in the middle of the room. It turned into a Patronus. An Owl. Rowan’s Patronus.

  


The Owl spoke:

_“Dumbledore is dead. I’m coming to you.”_

  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
  
  


_Dumbledore was dead._

_Dumbledore. Was. Dead._

Stroke down by the very man he’s spent years working along side with. And that bastard Snape betrayed him. Ava tried to shake off that awful feeling, a Death Eater, hiding in plain sight, teaching kids. And Jacob trusted Snape too. Now Ava was worried that she gave Snape too much information about Jacob during their Occlumency session. And he saw Talbott, she wondered if Snape figured out the park in her memory was the same one her and Jacob used to meet up? 

_We can no longer meet there. Merlin, how will I get in contact with Jacob if our secret spot has been uncovered?_

Jae was pacing her kitchen nervously. Rowan was sitting at a table, shifting her gaze from Jae to Ava, then back to Jae..

“What?” Ava whispered as quietly as possible.

Rowan shook her head and took a sip of tea Ava made for her. 

She burst through Ava’s fireplace a few seconds after her Patronus was done delivering the message. When you’re best friends since you've been 11, you have a right to show up unannounced. Needless to say, Ava and Jae didn’t have time to put their clothes back on. 

_Merlin’s balls. How did I manage to ruin this tragic moment with this?_

They heard someone come through the fireplace. Tulip entered the kitchen moments later. 

“I came as soon as I could.” She was wearing silky dark blue pajamas. Her ginger hair in a bun. She looked at Jae “Hello Kim, why are you here?”

“I was in the neighborhood,” Jae shrugged.

“That was lucky,” Tulip tilted her head to the side.

Another Patronus.

A squirrel this time.

_Thank you, Penny. Perfect timing._

The Patronus spoke:

_I’m sure you’ve heard by now that professor Dumbledore was murdered tonight. No one else had died, luckily, but Bill was brought in to st.Mungo’s in critical condition after the battle. He’s stable now. He was attacked by Fenrir. Tonks is in here too, but she was not injured. I will send more news when I can.”_

  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  
  
They couldn’t sleep till early morning that night. The group stayed up talking, sharing memories of their Head Master, remembering their Hogwarts days. These were the happy memories but they all had tears in their eyes. Ava was thankful that the girls didn’t question her about Jae but she knew she had some explaining to do.

Ava woke up on her living room couch to the smell of coffee. And pancakes. She walked to the kitchen to find Rowan and Jae already there. Rowan was standing by the oven flipping pancakes with a non-verbal spell. Jae just sat there in awkward silence.

“Where’s Tulip?” Ava asked.

“Left after you two fell asleep. Wanted to go back to Teddy and Hannah for the night.” Jae responded.

“Would you like some pancakes?” Ava nodded and sat down at the table. Rowan was so much better than Ava at keeping it together, being a responsible witch she was.

“So.. are you two together?”

“No!” Ava's answer came out immediately.

_Was that too fast?_

Jae just sipped on his coffee.

“Alright..So..more of a one night stand kind of situation?” Rowan asked.

“Rowan, can we not do this right now. We need to get a Portkey arranged to attend Dumbledore’s funeral. We need to get everyone together to discuss things. This time I’m serious. Liz has been missing for a year, Merlin knows what happened to Chiara or Barbany, or Merula.”

Jae shot her a look.

“I don’t think you realize what you’re asking for. Britain is one big mess right now. No one has time to casually catch up.”

“I don’t want to catch up, I want to know what’s happening! I want to help! There’s a fucking war coming, Jae. I will not stay away. Our Head Master was killed! The most powerful wizard of the century gone!”

“I get it, you’re angry. But think about it this way. The ministry is getting ready for another attack, I guarantee all the Aurors have their hands full, that includes your friend Tonks. Ben and Diego are extremely busy I’m sure, just imagine what Department of Magical Law Enforcement looks like right now. Penny is in st. Mungo’s treating the wounded. Merlin knows when Bill is going to recover.” He paused and continued “Rowan has classes to teach, I don’t even know what she’s still doing here on a Tuesday.”

“But Chiara..”

“You can’t help her!” Jae was getting louder. “If the werewolves got her, there is nothing we could do. Nothing. This is not school anymore, it’s not a silly portrait curse you can break in between Potions and Charms class!”

“But Liz..”

“Is still missing!” Jae continued. “You know who else is missing? Your Slytherin boyfriend. So are the rest of the snakes. And I have a pretty good idea where they all might be..”

“Don’t talk about him like that!” Ava almost yelled.

_Barnaby would never join them._

Rowan was sitting there in awkward silence, her eyes wide from the scene she’s witnessed. She tried getting up as quietly as she could to sneak out of the room.

“Stay where you are. I’ll go.” Jae said. He got up and rushed out the kitchen. They heard him leave through the Fireplace.

Two girls sat there in silence for a minute.

“This was not a one time thing, was it?” Rowan asked.

Ava shook her head.


	13. June 1997. St. Mungo's

***

June 1997. St. Mungo's

It was the day before Dumbledore’s funeral. Ava was walking down one of the corridors of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.

Even if she was a little mad at him, Ava knew that he was the only person who could give her some answers. 

She came there to see Bill Weasley.

***

As expected, Bill was in the Dai Llewellyn Ward since he was brought in with a creature-induced injury. As soon as she approached it, the door opened up and a middle-aged witch, wearing dark blue robes that have seen better days, appeared in front of Ava. Molly Weasley must have stopped by to see her son earlier. 

As soon as she saw her, Molly gave Ava a warm smile but Ava couldn't help but notice how tired the Weasley Matriarch looked. 

_She must be feeling awful._

“Oh dear, it’s so good to see you! Did you come to check on Bill? How sweet of you!” Molly pulled Ava into a tight hug. “I only wish the circumstances weren’t so terrible. Are you doing well?”

“Thank you, Molly, I’m alright..all things considered,” she answered. “I wanted to see how Bill was doing. I’m sure you’re taking very good care of him!”

“Bill will get better soon, darling, don’t you worry! Fleur keeps an eye on him,” Molly smiled, this time looking more cheerful. “That girl, I can’t believe I had my doubts about her. Proved to be so loyal. Have you met her?”

Ava shook her head.

“Oh don’t let the first impression deceive you, she is the sweetest thing! Couldn’t have asked for a better future daughter-in-law. And to think I’ll have six!” 

_I wonder if she even knows about Charlie and Liz.._

“You know, I always thought you’d be a Weasley some day,” the witch continued. “Bill and Charlie couldn’t stop talking about all the adventures you were having! Until..” she said sadly and shook her head. 

“Until Talbott, I know.”

_Did she have to bring him up?_

“It’s like all of you stopped being kids that night. It was never the same after what happened.. I was hoping none of the others would have to go through something terrible like this.. And now it’s even worse..” She lowered her voice and continued, “I’m sure you know Ronald is very close with Harry Potter..”

_Yes, your sons mentioned it about 5 thousand times._

“Inseparable those two, just like Fred and George. We also think Ginevra fancies him a little”, she laughed. “Harry is such a wonderful boy.. I’m sure you all know by now that he had to witness Dumbledore’s death.”

_That poor Potter kid._

“Well, I don’t want to keep you from seeing Bill any longer, dear. Please remember that you’re always welcome at the Burrow.”

She hugged Ava good-bye.

***

As soon as Ava entered the hospital ward she saw Bill lying on top of the covers of his bed. Although the small room was poorly-lit she saw them right away.

_Those scars.. Oh, Bill._

She rushed to Bill’s bed that was close to the only window in the room making a mental note that there were no other patients in his ward. The long red scars from Fenrir’s claws were covering the left side of Bill’s face starting at his eyebrow and going all the way down to his jaw. He was lucky he didn’t lose his eye.

“Merlin, Bill!” Ava gasped. “He got you good, that fucking bastard. How are you feeling?”

“He did, didn’t he? When that arsehole grabbed me, I thought that was the end for me!” he laughed. “I’m feeling better now, they took me straight to the Hospital wing and then to St. Mungo’s.” 

“Don’t worry, he didn’t infect me,” he rushed to add after catching Ava’s worried look. 

“It wouldn’t have mattered to me. I’m just glad you’re alive.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you before you hear it from Charlie: I got engaged. I know you haven’t met her. Fleur is brilliant! Well, it doesn’t hurt that she’s part veela if you know what I mean.”

_She must be hot._

“Part veela? Did you use an Imperius curse to convince her to go out with you?” 

Bill smirked.

“Always treated her like she’s nothing special. Totally ghosted her after our first date. She couldn’t stop owling me after that! I don’t think any other wizard has not tried to propose after she as much as looked at his direction so,” he shrugged, “it totally worked”. 

_Here’s the Bill I know._

“We’re not sure about the wedding date yet.”

“Will you invite me?”

“Of course! You’re one of my best friends.”

“Thanks, Mate,” Ava smiled. “You’re one of mine too.”

_You used to be. Long time ago._

Ava sighed and sat down on the chair right next to Bill’s bed.

“Bill, I have to ask you something. And I need you to be honest with me,” she said looking him straight in the eye. “Are you a part of the Order of the Phoenix?”

He hesitated for a moment.

“I am,” Bill answered flatly.

“Who else is in it?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.. even if I wanted to.”

“Is Tonks in it?”

He stared at her without saying another word.

_Of course, she is._

“Alright, can you just answer this one. Is Charlie in it?”

Bill sighed. Ava could tell that her interrogation was making him uncomfortable.

“In a sense. He’s one of the people that are a part of the Order by affiliation. Not very active.”

“How do I become a member?”

“Ava..You can’t.”

“I want to help!” she said raising her voice.

“I know you want to. But it’s a secret organization, this is not a game.” Then he softened his voice after noticing how upset she was. “Even within the order, there’s strict hierarchy. Different members have access to different level of intel. Dumbledore was the head of the Order, he was the only one who knew everything. From what I can tell, he assigned everyone certain missions.. No one besides him had access to the full picture. Besides.. The order of the Phoenix might be small but it does not include all of Dumbledore’s supporters. There’s a larger chain of fighters and spies. I often do not even know where the information came from, only that I can trust it. I am not telling you not to fight or not to help. Just think of other ways you can assist the Order.”

_Better than nothing._

“Thank you.” Ava smiled at him.

“Now get going, I know you’ve got things to do. I’ll be alright, the scars will heal,” he winked at her. “Am I still the most handsome wizard you’ve ever laid your eyes on?”

_You never were._

“Without a doubt.”

She kissed his forehead goodbye and left Bill's ward. She didn't leave the hospital, instead, she headed to the Third Floor where the Potions department was located to find Penny.


	14. June 1997. No small talk.

June 1997. No small talk.

***

Rowan gasped and grabbed Ava’s hand as dozens of arrows were shot through the air by centaurs.

“What was that about?” Ava whispered.

“A sign of respect.” came another whisper from Ben.

It was truly a historical event. Where else would one be able to see ministry officials, famous quidditch players ,celebrities of all sorts and just regular folk sitting next to each other united in their grief. Everyone came to pay their last respects to Albus Dumbledore. Even the centaurs stood at the edge of the first, almost hidden, and earlier Merpeople rose from the waters of the Black Lake to sing their song. 

It was a beautiful and peaceful ceremony. Nonetheless, Ava’s mind was not at rest, through the whole ordeal she kept thinking about Snape, his betrayal, her missing classmates, Jacob, what yet to come.. 

During the ceremony, she saw a witch with vivid pink hair sitting a few rows ahead to their right, holding someone by the hand. The middle aged wizard was sitting right next to Tonks. Too close to be just a friend, Ava thought.

“Do you all see what I see?” Ben must have noticed it too. 

Ava and Rowan looked at each other but didn’t say a word.

As the ceremony has ended and everyone started getting up from their seats ready to leave, Ava wondered if she should go say hello to Hagrid or other professors but it just didn’t feel right. She saw an elegant woman who was a little taller than Hagrid himself sob in his arms right before the funeral started. It must have been Madame Maxime, Beauxbatons’ Headmistress who was rumored to be half-giant. 

“Ugh, I’ve never seen so many kids cry at the same time.” Ben noticed. 

All of the stuff must be so busy with comforting the students and helping the guests leave the castle.

_Not the right time._

Before they decided on which direction to take to leave, Tonks noticed the group and came to greet them.

“Glad you made it to say your goodbyes.” She said quietly. 

“Tonks, I know you were there.. this is unimaginable.” Rowan was the one to say what they all thought. 

Something changed in Tonks' expression. To Ava’s surprise, her hair faded a little. 

“That night was rough.” Tonks nodded sharply. “Glad everyone else made it. Bill is recovering, but I’m sure Penny is keeping you updated on his condition,“ she shot a look towards Rowan. “He is.. kind of engaged.”

Rowan’s jaw dropped and Ava swallowed as she felt a wave of shame.

_I should have told her._

“And who is your friend?” Ava asked boldly to change the subject. 

_Shite, that came out a little rude._

“His name is Remus. He’s not just a friend, Sallow. We are together.”

“You are together with that man?” Ben asked, doubt in his voice.

“His name is Remus.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit shocked. I guess after Tulip..” Ava bit her tongue but it was too late. 

She saw Tonks’ hair change, it become more red.. She looked sharply at Ava.

_Oh, Merlin._

“Will you stop with Tulip?”

_Merlin, she’s serious._

“I do not wish to hear another word about her. And definitely not at Dumbledore’s funeral for Helga’s sake.” Tonks said, irritated. “Where is she by the way? Too busy to show up? I shouldn’t be surprised, you always took her side. I bet 10 gallons she still badmouths me every chance she gets.”

“Tonks, she named her..” Ava tried.

“Tonks.” They heard a calm voice call her name gently. It came from Remus. “We are heading out. If you need to catch up with your friends..”

“I’m done here.” Tonks gave the three of them a stare. 

Ava felt panic, Tonks was about to turn around and leave them.

“We know you’re a member of the Order of the Phoenix” Rowan blurted out loudly.

“Keep your voice down, are you mad?!” Tonks said looking around to make sure no one else heard them. “You never know who’s listening!”

“I’m sorry, Tonks” Ava almost whispered, “But it's hard to get your attention these days. Anyway, we need to talk.” And then added in pleading tone, “please, Tonks. We’ve been through so much together, you can’t just ignore us.”

“Alright.. Meet me at the Hog's Head Inn at 8 tonight. Most visitors should be gone by then.” She left without saying another word.

Ben tilted his head as he watched Tonks walk away. “You think she’ll actually show up?” 

“If she’s still our friend, she will” Ava responded bluntly. “Let’s find the others.”

***

At exactly at 8pm Ava, Ben and Rowan opened the door of the infamous bar. Its windows so filthy, it was impossible to tell if the rest of the group was waiting for them from the outside, one could only make out the glints of the candle light from the street. 

_Maybe it’s not such a bad spot for a secret meeting._

They looked around the small room but didn’t see anyone else there. Only the owner, Aberforth, was standing at the bar. 

“Your friends are waiting for you upstairs. I'll give you some privacy.” He said before the trio was able to ask any questions.

“We’ll take a bottle of Firewhisky”. Ava said as she headed towards the bar. They didn’t need any extra ears wherever their friends were waiting for them. “Do you want Blishen's or Ogden’s?” She looked at Ben and Rowan.

“Oh!” Rowan exclaimed excitedly, turning her gaze at Aberforth. “Do you have the Blishen's Fire Cinnamon Flavoured kind?

He answered with a long stare.

“Whatever you have will do.”

***

Upstairs, there was a sitting room with a big portrait right above the fire place. A shy girl in a blue dress with a countryside on the background. She looked quite sad.

_I wonder if she knew him._

“Here” they all heard a whisper. Then they saw a blonde with her infamous braids sticking her head from behind one of the oak doors. They followed Penny’s voice into one of the Inn’s private rooms. 

“I’m glad I don’t have to spend the night here.” Ben couldn’t help but notice.

The upstairs was a little less filthy than the downstairs nonetheless grimy. There was a small bed on the left side of the room. Tonks and Charlie were sitting on it cross-legged with their dragon leather boots on top of the blanket that has probably never been washed. 

Penny went straight towards the small sofa that was facing the bed, Rowan followed her.

“Sorry we took the bed” Charlie said to Ava and Ben. 

“Mazoology was never my forte. You can keep the bedbugs.” Ben laughed and waived his wand conjuring two chairs for Ava and himself to sit on. 

_Muffliato!_ He waved his wand.

_Now no one will hear us._

“I’ve never been to one of these rooms upstairs.” Ava said looking around.

“You’re the one that brought us all here, Sallow. Care to explain?” Tonks shot her a look.

_Is she still mad at me?_

“No small talk, I see.” 

“We just buried Dumbledore. I think we can get straight to the point.”

“That’s fair.” Ava agreed. ”I gathered you all here to ask some questions. And I ask you all to answer honestly. Tonks, we know that you and Charlie a part of the Order of the Phoenix. Who else is in it?”

She sighed.

“I can’t tell you everything but.. what I say have to stay between us.” Tonks look around and everyone nodded. “All the Weasleys..”

“What?” Rowan gasped. “Even the younger ones?”

“Yes, and they’ve proven themselves to be excellent fighters.” Charlie answered shortly.

“Is there a way for us to join?” Ava inquired.

“No. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Who does?”

“Dumbledore. Well, he used to. Now it’s a mess since he was killed by one of the members..”

“Snape was a member?! And we can not join?” 

“I’ve said too much.”

“Ok, Tonks. I will not insist. But can you at least tell us what we can do to help the Order? Bill have mentioned that you have secret allies.”

“I will have to talk to the Mad Eye or Kingsley. Truth be told, we will need all the help we can get with what’s coming..”

“And it’s not necessarily bad to have allies abroad.” Charlie added. “In case things go south.. you know. So that we have somewhere to hide. Another reason I spend so much time in Romania.” 

“I don’t know about that, MACUSA was pretty clear on not allowing any refugees in.”

“You never know.” Charlie shrugged. “Lately things have not been looking great and now with Dumbledore gone.. we have to have a back up plan. In case.. “

“If we don’t win the war.” Tonks nodded quietly. 

“So there will be a war?” Penny asked, “You’re certain?”

Tonks sighed. “There is one already one. Look around you.. “

All 6 of them were quiet for a moment.

They heard a loud pop and turned to see the source of the noise. Penny opened the bottle of Firewhisky with a non-verbal spell. She poured the first round as all of them stood up from their seats.

“To Dumbledore.” Ben said.

They all took a shot.

_I can’t believe he’s truly gone. But it’s time._

“Penny, did you bring it?” Ava asked bluntly. Penny nodded and took out a small unmarked bottle from her pocket. 

What’s that?” Rowan asked.

“Veritaserum,” the blonde smiled slyly unable to mask a look of triumph. ”Brewed it myself.”

“Penny, what the fuck?” Charlie’s expression was both confused and terrified. “Was that in our drinks?”

“It was not. But next round, it will be.” Penny answered.

“Are you mad?” Tonks snarled.

“It was me who asked Penny to bring it.” Ava said loudly. “I’m tired of this shite. We all have to come clean. At least I know I do.” She sighed and looked straight at Rowan. “Some of you may have questions,“ then to Charlie. ”I have questions too.” 

She looked around the room passing her gaze from one friend to the next. Charlie looked the most concerned. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask for the Order’s secrets. I give you my word.”

_If it means anything to you._

“If you want to keep lying, you can leave right now. If you stay, all the lying ends in this room. We owe each other that much. This is a matter of survival. And..” she added in a sad tone, “you’re my best friends and I don’t even know what’s going on with you anymore.”

“You don’t have a clearance to know what’s going on with me, Sallow!” Tonks replied.

They all started laughing, joke eased the tension in the room.

“And no one really cares to ask what’s going on with me..” Rowan said heavily. Penny took a step closer to her and hugged her around the shoulders.

“I’m sorry you feel this way, Rowan. We are all guilty in not staying in touch that well, in keeping secrets. That’s why when Ava asked me if I had some Veritaserum on hand.. well, at first I was shocked. But then.. She’s right. Lying stops now. And if you feel it’s getting too much, just ask us to stop before the question is asked. Once it’s asked, you know. No way around it.”

“You’re right! Fuck the clearance, fuck the Death Eaters, fuck the secrets. And most certainly, fuck the rules!” Ben exclaimed.

_There’s that Gryffingor spirit._

“Right on, Head boy!” Ava exclaimed.

Penny poured another round. This time she also added a drop of Veritaserum in each shot glass.

“To Talbott.” Penny said.

Ben started coughing. “Even worse than the first time!”

They all looked at each other awkwardly, unsure who should go first. 

“I’ll start,” said Penny. “How are you feeling about Bills engagement?” She looked at Rowan.

“I’d avada Fleur to be in her place.” She gasped and covered her mouth in horror. “Sorry Charlie. I know she’s soon to be your sister-in-law.”

“It’s alright, she’s kind of a bitch!” He blurted out in response. “I honestly don’t get why everyone likes her. At least Mum was not a fan until recently.. It’s like I’m the only Weasley able to resist her spell!”

They all laughed.

“What about Marc?” Ava asked quietly.

“I do not know. He’s nice but is that enough? I feel like he doesn’t know the whole me, only a part of me. He doesn’t get what I’ve been through.”

“Do you think Bill knows the whole you, Khanna?” Tonks chuckled.

“No, but he’s the best lay I’ve had.” Rowan cheeks flashed red instantly. “Oh no, I shouldn’t have said that!”

“So what is it that you think Marc doesn’t get?” Penny asked.

“Survivor’s guilt. There was a certain young wizard who saved me and it ruined his life. I wonder if he regrets it..” You could see tears starting to build up in Rowan’s eyes even behind glasses. 

“You want to tell us about Remus?” Ben asked looking at Tonks to draw attention to someone else.

“I.. love him.”

_Wow, that was straight forward._

“He may not be the most handsome bloke..”

“He’s as old as Merlin’s balls!” Penny covered her mouth but it was too late. She then added apologetically, “I mean, to be fair, he’s Snape’s age. Literally. They were the same year.”

“I know, I know.. but I’ve never.. I’ve never met anyone as gentle and kind as him.. Who really listens. And the age gap doesn’t bother me. I was actually the one to pursue him. He tried to resist. It was cute.”

Ava waived her want and poured another round of shots with a non-verbal spell in the meantime. 

“And sex is great.” Tonks continued. “I mean it’s _really _great. Close to the full moon, you know.”__

__

__

“No, we don’t.” Ben laughed. 

“He is a good man. I know most of you haven’t had a chance to properly meet him, but if you ever do.. You’ll understand.” 

They all took another shot. 

“To Remus and Tonks” Ava said. They all repeated the words in unison. 

“Alright, my turn.” Charlie said as he sat back on the bed. 

“Have you heard anything about Liz?” The question has been on Ava’s mind for a while. 

“Charlie shook his head in response. 

"Do you have any leads?” 

“I don’t,” He sighed heavily. “Only guesses. And my guess is she was captured by the Death Eaters. She’d never join them willingly. Liz has been the only person our year who was as good me at Care of Magical Creatures. Well, also Barnaby. But we were always the top three in the class. Liz has so much experience in that field. It’s a well known fact that You-know-who had help from Magical Beings in the First war. Like Werewolves and Giants. I’ve had my suspicions for a while that he’d use the Dark Creatures this time..” 

“Merlin..” Ben looked at Charlie astonished. 

“But he’s going to need wizards and witches who know how to handle them.” Charlie finished. 

“Do you think she’s alive?” 

“I do. She’s a survivor..” He smiled. “A Slytherin, after all”. 

“Another snake” Tonks blurted out. “I’m sorry, it’s this damn Veritaserum that’s making me say this out loud. Don’t look at me like that, Ava, you know I don’t trust them.” 

“They’ve never done anything to you. Stop letting your family history project on your relationships with your friends and classmates.” Penny said. She turned to Charlie, “I’m so sorry about Liz. I always found her a little awkward but she’s a nice witch.” 

“Do you love her?” Everyone stared at Rowan. “I thought we’ve agreed on no small talk.” She said in defense. 

“It’s alright. I do.. You know I’ve never dated anyone before her. I.. I don’t want to be like Bill.” He looked at Rowan from the corner of his eye. “Me and him has always been best friends but I do now approve of him.. Messing around.” 

Messing around is putting in nicely” Tonks added. 

“He has no regard for anyone’s feeling.” Charlie looked straight at Ava. “It may be Veritaserum talking but I loathe how he’s been treating Rowan. And you never confronted him about it even though you could have. He actually listens to you.” 

“Charlie, Ava doesn’t have to..” Rowan tried. 

“He’s right.” Ava admitted. “I’m sorry, Rowan. I feel like I’ve been a shite friend to you. But every time I try to tell you he’s no good for you, you..” 

“I make the same mistake.” Rowan sighed. “Apology accepted.” She tried to smile. 

“So I take it you were a virgin when you met her?” Penny giggled. “Don't judge me for being curious! I’m drunk!” 

“Yes. And I’m not embarrassed to admit it, it never bothered me actually. I always wanted to be like my parents. To have the kind of love to last forever. Merlin, I sound so boring!”

“It’s not boring, Weasley,” Tonks said. “Everyone wants to meet that one person..”

“And have you? Met the one?” Charlie said back.

“I think I have,” Tonks couldn’t hide her smile. 

"Was Tulip not the one?” Ava built up courage to ask.

“She wasn’t. I know you wanted us to work. I loved her but I don’t think she was the one for me. Even if she thought I was the one for her. The chemistry was always there, but.. She wasn’t really who I thought she was.” 

“How so?”  


  


“I fell in love with her because of her wild-spirit, her independence. The pranks were fun, I have to admit. But then as soon as I got really close.. She’s too smart for her own good and that calculated cold mind of hers.. Tulip is not loyal. Remember how she betrayed Merula? A part of me wondered if she should have been sorted into Slytherin.” 

"I could see that." Rowan giggled. 

“Anyway, when I was with her it felt suffocating.. For someone who was such a rebel in school she sure did love her rules. And she had serious trust issues. Any time a witch as much as talked to me at a pub..”

"I’m sorry, Tonks.” Ava felt stupid because she always saw the situation from Tulip’s point of view. “I should have asked you how you felt.”

“Right. Instead you took her side and ran away taking Rowan with you.” 

“And you don’t miss her? Not even a little bit?” Ava asked. 

“No,” Tonks responded sharply but then added in a softened voice, “At least not like that. However, I don’t think you ever stop caring about your first.. Somewhere deep down.”

“I object! I honestly don’t give a Dragon’s arse how Andre is doing!” Penny blurted out.

“And why is that?” Rowan asked.

“Sex was bad.” Rowan chuckled as Penny continued,“If your other half only talks about himself and how great he looks in his new quidditch outfit, I’m warning you, it’s a bad sign. I only dated him because.. you know, his looks. But there’s not much to miss.”

“Are you happy now? With Murphy?”

"I am! He’s wonderful to me and he is a great father. We thought about having more children but.. you know, this war.. and Bea’s problem.”

“What problem?” Everyone looked at Penny.

“Merlin, stupid Veritaserum. I’m sure you’ve seen in tabloids that Kirley has a new girlfriend..What, only moms read tabloids? Anyway, her name is Margaret Oleander. A Ravenclaw, a year older than us? None of you remember her? Doesn’t matter. Well truth is, he broke up with her. Bea has issues with potions. 

“I don’t recall Potions being her favorite subject.” Rowan said, confused 

“No, Rowan. She’s an addict.”

Everyone looked at Penny in disbelief. 

Penny sighed heavily. 

“It all started with partying and drinking..and drugs. I thought it was a phase. Then after I was back from my Honeymoon I remember she started asking me for potions to calm her nerves.. Just the Calming Drought or Draught of Peace or the Dreamless Sleep sometimes.. I didn’t question why she had to ask me, I was just glad to be on her good side again, knowing our history. Then Murphy and I started noticing a change in her behavior. When she was visiting she was always a little too mellow, a little sleepy. Nothing crazy. Well on Christmas Day she didn’t show up at Mom and Dad’s. I went to check on her and..” Penny’s voice broke and she stopped.

Rowan moved closer to Penny and hugged her. “It’s ok, you don’t have to go on.”

“I..” Penny continued, “I found her unconscious on the floor, in the pool of her own vomit and piss. She’s lucky I found her when I did. She mixed so many things together she.. she almost..” She couldn’t finish. 

“I’m sorry, Penny.” Ava said. “Is Beatrice doing better now?”

“She was clean for a bit, swore to me she’s done with all that stuff. It worked as long as she was at our parents’ on a House Arrest. Apparently Kirley has broken things off back in November and she never even told us. Even the Rock Star couldn’t deal with her habits. Oh and the reason she started asking me for potions.. She’s banned from all the apothecaries in London. Now I don’t know where she is. As soon as she found out he found a new girl, she lost it. She escaped. She shows up every once in a while to ask for money.” Penny looked down, embarrassed. “And I usually give her some. I know it’s not right!” She exclaimed. “But.. She’s my sister!”

“We’re not here to judge.” Tonks said quietly, “She’s a good person but Beatrice has been trapped in a portrait for almost a year..I’m sure she’s going through a lot.

“I know..She said she's been depressed for years. I just hope she’s strong enough to quit.” Penny sighed. “I missed you guys. I missed this.” 

“Getting pissed at some dump?” Bean asked and they had a good laugh. “I’ll pour another one.” 

“Are you seeing anyone, Ben”. The question came from Rowan and Ben stopped what he was about to do. 

“I am!” He added quickly, “Please don’t ask for a name.. I won’t be able to lie and he is kind of.. still not out of the closet. I’ll tell you all the details when he’s ready.” 

“Cooper,” Tonks sighed “you deserve to be with someone who’s not keeping you a secret. This is not cool.” 

Ben crossed his arms in front of him in a protest. The group looked at each other trying to think of another topic before Ben accidentally reveals his secret. 

“Speaking of missing Slytherins, did anyone hear from Barnaby?” Ava asked. 

“No” everyone answered in unison. 

“Do you still care about him?” Ben asked. 

"I never stopped.” 

“Why did you break up with him then?” 

“I was in a dark place. My brother, all the secrets, all the pressure, ruined relationship with my parents. There was a guy.” 

“What?!” Tonks gasped. Everyone stared at Ava shocked. Except for Rowan who was staring at the ground. 

“Did you cheat on Lee?” Tonks inquired. 

"No. Not technically.” Ava felt that Veritaserum was starting to wear off. “But I was dishonest.” 

“Was it Jae?” Rowan asked.

“What?!” Penny almost shouted. 

“I almost walked in on them.” Rowan continued, ”Thank Goodric they were done”. 

“No, not Jae. I know I didn’t explain..” 

“So how long you and Jae have been a thing?” 

“We’re not a thing.” 

“How long have you been hooking up?” Rowan asked. 

“Since 5th year.” 

Ava heard her friends gasp in surprise. 

“This is getting good.” Charlie smiled. 

“Well it depends. Just snogging since the 5th year. Then we stopped for as long as I was with Barnaby. Then we started occasionally having sex after I moved to America.” 

“How often is occasionally?” 

“I do not know. We meet.. I’d say every two months.” 

“It sounds like a pretty steady relationship to me, Sallow.” Tonks chuckled. 

_Oh shit._

“You know Jae, he has business in the States.” 

“I can assure you, he doesn’t need to go there that often.” Penny said. “Alright, back to the cheating. Not Jae then. Do we know the guy?” 

_She’s onto something._

"Yes,” Ava answered. 

“Before this last bit of Veritaserum wears off, I need everyone to answer this. When was the last time all of you saw Talbott?” Penny asked. 

“June 12th 1990” Everyone answered in unison. 

Everyone but Ava. Her answer was “June 27th.” 

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, all eyes were on her. 

“Pour me one”. She looked at Penny, “3 drops.” 

Ava took a shot by herself. 

“This time, I will tell you everything.” 


	15. June 1997. A long story.

.

  
June 1997. A long story

***

Ava did her best to hold the Firewhisky down.

_This is what Hungarian Horntail’s breath must taste like._

“I don’t know about you, but I’m as drunk as a Hag on Yule!” she proclaimed. “So I would like to come clean before I have a chance to sober up enough to regret this terrible idea.” 

Ava sighed.

“Where do I begin..”

“Begin with an apology,” Rowan suggested. “We’ve been best friends since we were 11, Ava, and I always thought that Barnaby was your first and only love. At Hogwarts, I mean. I thought your first kiss was in the Courtyard with him in the 7th year.” She tilted her head slightly, “Now that I think about it..”

“A first kiss in front of a crowd? In the middle of the Courtyard? Not giving a Dragon’s arse? A little too bold even for you, Sallow.” Tonks added. 

“My first kiss happened in 5th year. With Jae.”

“I want the details!” Penny blurted out, the expression of her face unable to hide the anticipation.

Ava paused for a moment and sat down in her chair.

_This is going to be a long story._

“Before I get to Jae and the kiss. I wanted to start where it all began..” She swallowed. “On the day I took my first Hogwarts Express. I’ve waited for that day since I could remember myself. And it was better than I’ve ever imagined.” She smiled at the memory and continued, “the excitement, the anticipation! And I’ve promised to meet Rowan at the platform so we could take the train together. From the moment I’ve met her I knew we’d be best friends. The way I felt was..hard to describe..”

“Like whatever happens defines the rest of your life?” Charlie smiled. “We get it.”

“Yes! Like it was the most important day of my life! As soon as I saw the infamous Trolley Witch, I rushed to get treats for Rowan and myself. I bought us..”

“Two licorice wands! I still remember!” Rowan smiled, reminiscing. “Although, I’m still not sure why you like those.. I hate licorice!”

“But you’ve been eating those with me for years!” Ava gasped.

“Because it's your favorite. And you’re my best friend.” Rowan smiled sincerely. “I’m sorry, it’s still Veritaserum talking.”

Ava smiled back. 

“They aways reminded me of Jacob. Of times when we were one happy family. You know how my mom was with underage use of spells, I was not allowed to use magic at home until I become of age, she wouldn’t even let me practice the simplest of spells! Jacob knew how strict she was and before I could get my own wand he used to teach me basic spells at a park nearby. I used to practice the movements with the Licorice Wand. Every time I eat one.. I can’t help but feel nostalgic. I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s not!” Penny said kindly. “Certain things and places bring us back to the happy times. I’m the same way with the Kew gardens.”

“I know you used to go there a lot with your parents and Beatrice. It only makes sense you had a wedding there.” Ava stopped herself before losing her thought. “While paying for the treats, a boy sitting in the compartment next to ours caught my eye. Dark hair, a little longer than most boys our age wore it, brown eyes. He was reading a book while the rest of the students in his compartment were talking about which House they wanted to be in, laughing loudly and..just being kids. But he did not seem to be interested at all. He was..distant, too cool to care about some childish things.” 

Ava smiled at the memory. 

”It was the first time I liked a boy. I kept thinking about him the rest of the train ride secretly hoping we’d end up in the same House. Well, you all know how that turned out. Rowan and I got into Gryffindor and Talbott - into Ravenclaw.” She sighed, “And it stayed a silly little crush. Too silly to even mention to your new friends. I didn’t even talk to him until..”

“The third year.” Penny added, “when I introduced you two and we helped him find his mother’s necklace.”

“Right. But in the meantime.. I became friends with Barnaby.. The boy who wears his heart on his sleeve. Since the 3rd year, I knew he had a crush on me. We had our little childish dates like the time we went to the Celestial Ball together. The more I got to know him, the more certain I became that he was serious about his feelings. We actually had a good talk that year and he surprised me with his maturity. Said he was ok with giving me space, that he didn’t want to pressure me into making any rush decisions. That he was going to wait no matter how long it took.. And he has always been.. really fucking cute. It always flattered me that he wasn’t paying attention to any other girls because he was only interested in me.” 

Ava furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Wow, I sound like a piece of shite.”

“You don’t!” Tonks laughed. “It was fun to watch Murk get her knickers in a twist after she saw you two at the Ball!”

They all laughed. None of the friends shared any sympathy for Ismelda. 

“So there was Barnaby, the perfect Slytherin bachelor with a heart of gold. But my secret crush didn’t just go away because another boy liked me. I only became more curious about Talbott’s personality, although, he didn’t seem to want to be friends so I watched him from a distance, he.. Felt like a challenge. With Barnaby, everything was clear as day and Talbott was a mystery to me. So determined and ambitious and at the same time.. Writing poetry, the Divinations.. Always keeping his thoughts to himself.”

“And handsome!” Tonks winked.

“The most handsome boy our year.” Ava smiled. “Obviously, it doesn’t really matter what House you’re in, but you can’t deny the House Unity. You are connected with those people on a deep level.”

Everyone nodded.

“And he didn’t seem to care to make any friends even within Ravenclaw. Neither Tulip nor Badeea knew much about him and Andre, well.. Andre only talks about Andre so not much help there. I even became Animagi just to get closer to him.”

_Fuck_

“Fuck!” Ava swore out loud, “it’s so strange to say things I could never even admit to myself before. So..I didn’t choose. I didn’t need to choose. We were practically children, too young to date. I had my slowly growing relationship with Barnaby and I had my secret crush on Talbott. It worked because it wasn’t hurting anybody.”

Ava stared at the wall for a few seconds collecting her thoughts.

“Then things started to get worse at home.. No one knew about Jacob’s whereabouts, we had a sleepwalking epidemic at school. I was hoping that..” Ava glanced in Rowan’s direction. “I thought I’d be made Prefect the summer before the 5th year. But..”

“I’m sorry, Ava. You did deserve it after all you’ve been through!” Ben said.

“Choosing you and Rowan to be Gryffindor Prefects made more sense. It hurt my ego a little bit but I was mostly afraid of Dad’s silent disappointment and Mom’s reaction. When it was clear the letter wasn’t coming, you know what she told Dad? When she thought I couldn’t hear them? Her exact words were “and here I thought this one would turn out better”. 

Ben, who was sitting next to Ava, put his hand on her shoulder.

“I thought going to Hogwarts would help take my mind of stuff at home. It felt like Talbott finally let me get closer to him. We actually had a.. moment in the beginning of the year. I found him at the Courtyard by the fountain after curfew. We sat there for a while and talked.. His fingers brushed against mine, for a second, I thought he was going to hold my hand but he didn’t.. But that night for the first time I felt _attraction_ towards someone. On a physical level. The longing feeling in my lower stomach, the way your heart starts racing.. This was some exciting stuff for a teenage girl! I had hoped this was going somewhere but then he acted like it never happened, I didn’t know what to think.”

“Not letting anyone get close. And the closer you get, the more he pushes you away,” Penny said. “Typical Talbott.”

“So you can imagine my frustration! I didn’t get away from all the stress at home, it only got worse! All the confusion about the boys, studying for O.W.L.s. only added more stress. I ended up in detention for making my cauldron explode in Potions! I was too damn distracted to pay attention to what I was throwing in there.”

“I remember that! You could have been seriously injured!” Penny added. “Potions are no joke.”

“Well I ended up in detention for 2 weeks. You all know that’s how I met Jae. Even though we were both Gryffindors, I didn’t really know much about him until then.”

“Neither did I!” Charlie laughed, “and we shared a dorm.”

“He was different from all of my friends.. All of us were getting in trouble and breaking the curfew from time to time, Tonks and Tulip had that obsession with pranks, but Jae.. it was _serious_ , some next level shite, dangerous even. He did not give a damn about getting caught by Filch. What we were doing was childish games for him.” 

“Filch was a Kneazle compared to men he had business with at Knockturn Alley.” Tonks added. 

Ava nodded and continued. 

“We used to go back to the Gryffindor Tower after we were done with detention together. On the last night of my detention, he went the opposite direction, told me not to worry about.” She smirked. “He didn’t know me well enough back then. Apparently, Jae’s plan was to steal some Fluxweed.” 

“For Polyjuice Potion, I bet,” Penny guessed.

“He finally saw me, but we were already near the Greenhouse at that point. So I.. Helped him steal some Fluxweed. And you know what, it felt _good_ to be bad. Then Missis Norris appeared out of nowhere and we knew Filch was coming. So we ran as fast as we could back into the castle and down the corridor. I was panicking, the adrenaline coursing through my veins. We thought we got away so we slowed down trying to be as sneaky as possible, took a right towards the Transfiguration classroom and heard the voice you never want to hear at Hogwarts after curfew.”

“Snape!” Tonks gasped.

“Snape.” Ava nodded, “Who’s there?”, he asked. I knew it was the end of me. I was going to get caught with stolen Fluxweed late at night running around the corridors with a known troublemaker. I thought I was going to be expelled this time.”

“Well you clearly got away! What happened next?” Rowan sat closer to the edge of the sofa in anticipation.

“Jae grabbed my hand and pulled me into a broom closet. You have to see it from my point of view! I wholeheartedly believed we were about to get caught and then expelled, my parents would disown me. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes. My pulse was still racing but the realization came.. We got away with it! We were not getting caught, we were not getting expelled! We stole some fucking Fluxweed!” She couldn’t hide her smile. 

“We were in complete darkness. And then I realized Jae was still holding my hand. And out of nowhere he says: “kiss me”. And for a moment I hesitated, but only for a quick moment. I thought.. I thought that I would never feel this high again. And so I did. And that was our first kiss.”

“Pretty fucking epic, if you ask me, Sallow.” Tonks said in awe.

“It felt like someone set fireworks inside my head. Better than I could have ever imagined my first kiss to be. Afterwards.. You know how Barnaby was always really open about his affections towards me, it’s like he didn’t even need to declare his love, everyone around him saw through him. With Jae it was different: the quick stolen looks, the way he’d wink at me when no one was watching.. but back in the 5th year it was just one kiss.”

“What about Talbott?” Charlie asked.

“Talbott was acting like he didn’t even know me.”

“So what happened next?”

“Right. Then the 6th year came. Rakepick was on the run, Jacob was back in my life and somehow.. still missing. I thought mom and dad would be happier after knowing he was alive but they only seemed more tense. I didn’t go home during that winter break, I couldn’t bear all their questions about Jacob I had no answers to. I was living in that never ending nightmare and I just wanted to feel _alive_ again.” 

Ava sighed and went on.

“So Christmas that year was pretty sad to be honest. Do you remember that secret spot at the Gryffindor Tower everyone used for smoking?”

“My first kiss happened there.. Bill, 6th year.” Rowan said. 

“And mine!” Ben addd, “5th year with Alan.”

“Who the fuck is Alan?” Tonks asked looking confused.

“The face paint kid,” Ben rolled his eyes, “no one ever remembers him by the name!”

“Back to my story! Before I change my mind!” Ava declared loudly, “So as I was standing there in the dark smoking and feeling like shite, Jae shows up. He didn't question me on why I stayed at Hogwarts instead of going home or why my eyes looked like I've been crying all day. He asked me for a cigarette and gave me one of his smiles..”

“I know exactly what you’re talking about!” Penny said excitedly. 

“So we snogged again that night. On the stairs and then in the common room..On the couch” She added defensively, “There was no one else there!”

“I think I knew that’s something was going on with you two..” Penny said.

“How?!” Rowan said surprised, “They were both in my House and I had no clue!”

“Well, Beatrice had mentioned that Jae had a crush on Ava.. years ago. I think you brought her to the kitchens once. She herself had a massive crush on Jae! It’s the “bad boy” thing that does it for her.” Penny rolled her eyes. “ I didn’t believe her back then. But then there was something else with Chiara. You all know we’ve shared a dorm since our first year. I’ve never been as close to her as I was to you all but you notice things.. She was spending a lot of time with Jae but then.. it just stopped. And I haven’t seen them together ever since..” Penny was trying to remember, ”since..”

“Since the day after Christmas. 6th year.” Ava said.

Everyone looked at her.

“The morning after our make-out session, he broke up with her. Diego told me, he said he was the only other Hufflepuff who stayed at Hogwarts that year during the winter break. Said she was pretty fucking upset.”

“Do you blame yourself?”

“Me? She payed me back by stealing Barnaby from me!”

“Ava, I don’t think that’s what happened..” Penny tried to reason with Ava. 

“Seriously, Penny? How else would you explain that someone who was ready to give an Unbreakable Vow he’d always wait for me since he was 13 broke his fucking promise?”

“For Godric’s sake, we’re on your side, Ava.” Ben interrupted. “Continue with your story.. where did you stop? Second part of 6th year?”

“I’m sorry, guys. It’s the Firewhisky talking.” Ava sighed. “So in a sense snogging with Jae was my way to unwind. Make out sessions in broom closets, his hand on my knee in class and while madam Pince were not looking..kissing behind the book shelves in the library.. I thought we had an unspoken agreement. That this was our idea of fun and no one else had to know our secret. I didn’t want to keep it from you guys but how could I explain.. We had fun, we broke rules, we made out, we kept it a secret. We didn't ask each other uncomfortable questions or made any promises. And then..The night in the Forbidden Forest..The night when..”

“Yes, we know, Ava.” Ben almost whispered. "You don't have to.."

“When Talbott appeared out of nowhere and killed Rakepick. Your mom was right, Charlie. That night has changed all of us,” Ava said as she looked around the room. “The last time all of you saw Talbott was June 12th. After we went home for summer break, I received a secret message from Jacob asking to meet at our spot.. On June 27th. I..I was such an idiot! I grabbed an issue of the Daily Prophet that came out earlier that year with Talbott’s poetry.. Thought that would cheer him up!”

The room was silent as they waited for the story to continue.

“Talbott actually was the one who showed up.. As handsome as ever but different..haunted. He said he wished he had more time and he kissed me. I let him. I’ve wanted to kiss that boy since our 1st year. We..We had sex that night.”

“In the forest?” Rowan asked with doubt in her voice.

“Said someone who shagged Bill Weasley in the loo!” Tonks laughed.

“It wasn’t a forest, Rowan. A park. He conjured a blanket!” Ava continued. “It wasn’t comfortable but I did not need comfort. It was.. passionate. And doomed. After, he told me he fell in love with me the moment he saw me on the train. Our first year. How he secretly hoped he’d get into Gryffindor. He said he actually asked the Sorting Hat..”

“What?! You could ask the Sorting Hat which house to get into?!” Ben asked in disbelief.

“Not sure it works that way. It didn’t work for Talbott, clearly.” Ava shrugged. ”The hat just laughed at him and sent him to Ravenclaw. He tried to explain why he’s been acting so different, how he didn't want to get close to me because everyone he was close with got hurt.. You know about the murder of his parents.. He said he tried to fight the attraction, rationalize it, convince himself I was everything he wasn’t, that we could never work. A chaos to his control, relying on luck while he was serious about even the minor things. The opposite of him, he couldn’t help but fall for me. We talked until the sunrise. And before the town was awake, he kisses me good-bye and left.”

__

_“I brought you this..” The girl says shyly, handing a young wizard an issue of the Daily Prophet. She thought he’d appreciate the sentiment, but it doesn’t feel right any more._

_“Keep it. I have no use for poems where I’m going.”_

_The eagle flies away. She is left standing with a newspaper in her hand._

Ava snapped out of the memory.

“It sounds romantic.. the forbidden love and all but Talbott knew about you and Barnaby, right? Did he bring him up?” Tonks couldn’t hide skepticism in her voice.

“He didn’t seem to care. He referred to him as a.. python in a Nest of Vipers. I don’t think he.. saw him as competition.”

“So have you seen him? Since you slept together in..” Ben asked trying to remember the year.

“1990? Not once.”

“Woah! Did he pass you letters?” Tonks gasped. “Through Jacob?”

“Too dangerous..He is a wanted fugitive, remember? This sounds insane that I still think about him because we haven’t seen each other in years.. Well, he does send me packages..”

“What packages?”

“On our anniversary. Or I don’t know what to call it. Every June 27th he sends me a package with a licorice wand in it.. My favorite treat.”

“Or to remind you of..”

“Penny!” Ava laughed. “He risks a lot by sending me those. I ask Jacob about him but he can’t reveal any details on their location or what they’ve been working on.”

“All dick jokes aside, this was a really messed up situation..” Ben’s expression grew serious. “I’m glad he got a chance to have a talk with you before disappearing. To explain himself.”

“Thank you, Ben. So.. back to the 7th year. My summer was hell as you can imagine: parents freaking out about my friend, “the murderer”, papers bashing Talbott, Ministry trying to sweep it under the rug, Jacob still missing. I’ve spent the whole summer in my room. Thinking. About all the craziness in my life but also.. the boys! Barnaby and how loving he’s been, Jae and his mischievous smiles, Talbott and the mystery around him..”

“The mystery? He Avada’d someone!” Tonks said flatly.

“He saved me, Tonks! Saved us!” Rowan exclaimed her mouth open in shock at her friend’s remark.

“No matter what lies the Ministry has told, he’s always been a hero in our side of the story.” Ava tried avoiding the argument before it breaks out. “I don’t regret what I did one bit. But to say I wasn’t scared of the darkness inside him would be a lie..Merula had a point..”

“You have to _really_ mean it.” Ben finished her thought.

They all fell silent.

“When I came to Hogwarts I needed safety, reassurance..I wanted to be loved without any secrets or drama. I wanted it to be pure and simple. And I already had someone waiting for me, waiting until I was comfortable. But..”

“But you didn’t love him?” Penny gasped.

“No! Of course I loved him. But it just ate me inside that I was not a hundred percent honest with him. He thought he’d been my first.. everything. And then deep in my mind there was always a thought..”

“What thought?”

“What if?” Ava looked at her friends. “What if I would have joined Jacob and Talbott and ran away? What if he hadn’t killed Rakepick?”

“You think you’d end up with him?” Rowan gasped.

“I do not know..”

“Which one do you love?”

“I have love for both.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m not! It’s different! Will Talbott.. it’s the kind of love that hits you like a running erumpent. Unexplainable, complicated, the one that may destroy you both, so real you can almost touch it with your hands. With Barnaby.. it’s like a growing tree, setting its roots deeper into you each year. Trusting, caring, only getting stronger. 

Ava paused.

“You know how the story ends. After Tulip and Tonks broke up and Tulip received a job offer from MACUSA, I looked into getting a job with them as well. I ran away, I betrayed Barnaby. I left someone who’s loved me and has been loyal with no good explanation. Told him I wanted to start clean somewhere no one knows me or my family history.” She dropped her face into the palms of her hands and stayed like that for a moment. “Ugh, why am I such a cunt?”

“You’re not!” Ben said. “Things have not been easy for you.”

“But I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t expect Barnaby to wait for me.“ Ava sighed. “Still, after all these years. I treat him like he belongs to me.”

“So how did you end up in bed Jae?” Rowan asked.

“He stayed in touch. He knew about me and Talbott when I returned to Hogwarts” Before her friends asked any questions she added, “Don’t ask me how! I do not know myself, he just knew it once I was back for the 7th year. He gave me space, we were friendly at Hogwarts but all the snogging stopped. Then he started coming to the US on his business and..”

“You got drunk and screwed?”

“Tonks!!” Penny said in a reproachful tone.

“Kind of. He offered an escape as always. From my thoughts about Barnaby and Talbott, from my worries about Jacob and guilt from my family, their disapproval. He’s always there with a smoke and.. A way to get my mind off things.”

“So why was it seemed so tense after I caught you two? Jae was upset about you trying to find Barnaby, jealous even.” Rowan said.

Ava shrugged.

“Our connection is as deep as it can be with a bloke like Jae. I think the idea of me always seemed exciting for him. He loves breaking the rules. I was always unavailable. First, emotionally, then I had a boyfriend and then.. I moved to another continent. But I’m not sure how he views our _situation_.”

“Do you think he could be.. falling for you?”

“Falling in love was never our thing.”

***

They talked until the early dawn, the bottle of Firewhisky long empty. Tonks and Charlie left first.

“Gotta go. Order business does not wait.” Tonks looked at Ava, “I promise, we will talk to Kingsley but it will take some time, the Order needs to discuss strategy after losing Dumbledore.”

“See you at Bill’s wedding!” Charlie glanced at Rowan, “I hope to see you all there.”

Penny was the next one to get up from her seat.

“As soon as I sober up in the morning, I’ll get to brewing. We will need to have all sorts of Potions ready for what’s next.” 

“How did you have Veritaserum on hand?” Ben asked.

“Bea.. Mom and dad asked me to brew some while she was living with them to make sure she wasn’t lying about being clean..I feel like I betrayed her, I’m such a horrible sister!”

“Penny,” Ava put her hand on Penny’s shoulder, “You are a great big sister, you’re caring, loving and protective. You wanted to help her and you are allowed to make mistakes!” 

Penny hugged the three of them good-by and left.

It was Ben's turn to leave.

“What’s your plan?” Ava asked bluntly. 

“Going to see what the ministry’s is going to do. I have a duty before the Wizarding World.“ He smiled.

“You know you could always..”  
“Ava, I’m staying.” Ben said sharply. She nodded in response. 

As soon as the door closed behind him, only Rowan and Ava were left in the room. 

“I worry about him. I don’t know if he should be in Britain right now, when things are so _uncertain._. He’s the only one of us who’s..”

“Who’s what? Working for the Ministry?”

“Muggleborn.”

Rowan swallowed.

They waited 10 minutes and went for the door. The girl on the portrait in the sitting room was still there, eyes red like she’d been crying.

_I wonder if she knew him…_


	16. Four weddings and a funeral. Part One. August 1st 1997.

Four weddings and a funeral. Part One.

***

“Amelia, dear! Stop moving while mommy is trying to fix your hair!” Penny said as her 19-month old daughter wiggled in her seat. “You look so pretty!” the compliment made Amelia smile and it melted everyone’s hearts - her blond hair was too short to do much with but Penny managed to get a large white bow stay on her head. The little girl was wearing a tule yellow dress, the color matched her mother’s outfit. 

Ava and Rowan both chose to wear _their_ House colour to celebrate (or in Rowan’s case - not so much) their friend’s wedding. Rowan’s gown was more of a maroon colour with jewel neckline and a front slit that only went a little higher than her knee and looked rather tasteful on a long sleeveless dress. It was modest in the front but a completely open back gave it a dramatic risqué look. Ava chose a blush red A-line maxi gown with off-the-shoulder voluminous sleeves and a flowy long skirt. To anyone the dress looked dreamy, romantic and airy but as soon as Penny zipped her up, Ava regretted not choosing something she can move in more freely. 

“Are you ready, my love?” Penny asked loudly as she grabbed a pair of pearl earrings from the trinket dish sitting on top of the fireplace. “The wedding starts at 3 o’clock remember?” 

“Be right there!” They all heard Murphy’s voice coming from the master bedroom.

Ava couldn’t help but study Rowan’s reaction as the two Gryffindor girls sat on the couch in Mcnully’s flat in London. They both came back to England the night before and stayed over at Penny’s flat: it was impossible to deny that Penny was better than any of them at beauty spells and they desperately needed her help. After all, her famous braids were the object of envy of all the Hogwarts girls their year. Not to mention, Rowan and Ava were _both_ avoiding their parents this time - nothing new for Ava but it was definitely unusual for her best friend.

Ava kept her mouth shut this morning when Penny asked _“How’s Marc? Anything new with him?”_ In her regular bubbly tone and as Rowan responded with a quick _“he’s alright, just working a lot”_ and changed the subject. 

Earlier in the afternoon Rowan pointed out a book that was sitting on the coffee table, “The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore” by Rita Skeeter. 

“Merlin, Rowan, Your boyfriend owns a book shop and you haven’t read it yet? It was rated five stars by the Daily Prophet! I just started it but it’s rather _scandalous_.” Ava made a mental note to buy a copy as soon as she gets back to New York. Luckily, Penny was too focused on making sure her eyeliner was perfect to pay much attention to little things like that. 

In fact, there was news about Marc but Ava knew it was not her place to tell. A week before Bill and Fleur’s wedding, he asked Rowan out on a date. Marc told her to meet him at “Finley & Sons”, his family book shop. When Rowan showed up, she saw dozens of candles flowing mid air and a table covered with a white table cloth with dinner for two. It was a beautiful sight: a date amongst hundreds of books in the oldest Magic Book shop in America. After the dessert was served, Marc got on one knee, made a long speech about his great-grandfather’s legacy and proclaimed his eternal love for Rowan. In short, Marc proposed. In the most perfect way at a most perfect place to the most perfect girl.

__

_“I couldn’t fucking do it,” Rowan said to Ava over a pint of chocolate chip ice-cream - it was no Fortescue's but it was still a pretty good Muggle Substitute. “My mind was telling me: say Yes! He’s a perfect guy..”_

_“But?”_

_“I just couldn’t! He is a good guy, but I felt like something was missing. I felt this way ever since our talk at the Hog’s Head.”_

_“Oh, I didn’t mean to confuse you with my drama..” Ava frowned her eyebrows._

_“It’s not that. It’s just.. When you described it, I realized I never had that.”_

_“What are you talking about? All I had was secrets, confusion.. Rowan, the boy I liked Avada’d someone.”_

_“Well.. I was thinking more in terms of mystery and adventures!”_

_Ava stared at her friend, her hand froze with a spoon full of ice-cream before it could reach her mouth._

_“Do you think you’re still in love with Bill? Is this what it is about?”_

_Rowan sighed. “I don’t know.”_

_“Do you still want to go to his wedding?”_

_“I do. Honestly, I think it’s going to help me sort things out.” She looked sheepishly at Ava. “Or not..”_

_“Oh, Rowan..”  
_

***

The Burrow did not look the same as Ava remembered it but with all the extra rooms added here and there sitting on top of each other, it was impossible to tell what was missing or what was new. It looked less messy for sure, Molly must have spent weeks getting it into an appropriate state to host the event. Nonetheless, from the outside, the house itself somehow seemed _extra_ crooked today.

“Hello everyone!” 

_Ben!_

“Oh hi Ben! Don’t you look..dashing! Did you bring a plus one?” Rowan said in a playful tone. Ben did look rather handsome in his Muggle dark navy suit with a red tie and dark brown brogues. A fresh haircut gave him a smart and sleek look.

“Thanks, you as well! And a certain someone will be joining me after the ceremony. He’s busy at the Ministry at the moment.”

“That’s great, Ben!” Penny smiled, “We’re so excited to meet your boyfriend!” 

“Can’t wait to introduce you.” Ben smirked.

As the group headed to the marquee, Ava noticed four red-headed boys standing at its entrance. 

“Fred! George! Can’t believe how much you’ve grown!” She exclaimed in awe. “You’re taller than me now!”

“Hello everyone!” Fred and George said in unison. 

“And I believe this is Ronald,” Ben turned to the younger Weasley. “And who’s this fellow?”

“Our cousin, Cillian.” 

“I don’t recall you..” Rowan noticed, uncertain.

“Alright, gang, let’s get you seated!” Fred interrupted her mid-sentence. “Mum didn’t hire Millamant's Magic Marquees for the guests not to admire it from the inside! Ron, show them the way.”

They followed the younger Weasley brother who escorted them to their seats. A lovely velvety purple carpet separated two sides of golden chairs and as soon as Ava took her seat in between Rowan and Ben, she couldn’t help but admire the flowers and balloons decorating the inside of the marquee - gold and white. 

“Penny, are you sure you shouldn’t be sitting on the bride’s side?” Ava said leaning towards her friend. “Look, those must be Fleure’s cousins.”

The group looked to their left to see Fred escort a group of gorgeous blondes, all wearing gold. 

“Yes, I’m a long-lost Delacour!” Penny laughed. 

“Quiet, I think it’s about to start!” Ben shooshed them.

***

After a drizzle of tiny little stars fell upon Bill and Fleur as they kissed, quite a few guests started to wipe off their tears. Charlie, who was standing next to his older brother, started to clap and the marquee was filled with the applause within seconds.

The balloons decorating the tent burst and out of nowhere little golden bells and birds appeared. The bells were ringing and the birds — singing, united in a magical celebration of love.

Ava squeezed Rowan’s hand tightly. 

“Look at that ugly tiara! I bet 10 Galleons that it’s one of the Weasley family heirlooms.” She whispered in Rowan’s ear.

Rowan gave her a thankful smile.

***

As soon as everyone was seated at their tables, Ava scanned the marquee with her eyes looking for familiar faces. Right away she saw Hagrid who waved at her enthusiastically. The ginger bridesmaid must have been Ginny Weasley, she looked beautiful in her golden dress, next to her stood two other girls: a blonde, who couldn’t have been older than 14 wearing the same dress as Ginny — Fleur’s sister and a dark haired girl in a short red dress whose name Ava couldn’t remember. Her face looked very familiar — she saw the witch in the Prophet a couple of times.

_Hermione Granger. That's right!_

_Of course! They “boy’s who lived” friend. Or maybe his girlfriend?_

Finally, another familiar face in the crowd. Her gaze stopped at a table where Tonks was seated next to Remus. Tonks looked up and noticed Ava. She smiled and waved at their table. Ava waved back, fighting the urge to get up and storm to Tonks’ table asking for updates — from her letters she knew there were none.

“Alastor Moody is dead.” A whisper in her ear, coming from the left side, where Ben was seated.

“What?!” Ava turned to him, startled.

“Keep your voice down. He was killed by Death Eaters four days ago during an _Order_ operation. I don’t have the details yet.” He said before Ava started asking questions.

“Did you know about Mad Eye?” Ava turned to the rest of their group. Murphy was the only one who nodded in response.. 

“Ava!” Penny sounded irritated, “We agreed on no _business_ talk tonight!” She added, emphasizing the word, it was clear she meant the Order business. “For Merlin’s sake, I’ve brewed more potions in the last month that I have in a year before! All my clothes reek of dittany! _Please_ , let’s just try to enjoy tonight.” She pleaded.

“As you wish.” Ava shrugged.

***

A couple of hours into the wedding and a few rounds of champagne later, Ava was able to relax and not to think about the Order business. She was here to be with friends after all. 

She felt Rowan touch her arm gently. She nodded in the direction where Bill was standing, his bride not by his side this time. Ava got up and followed Rowan who was heading to chat with the groom. 

“Just wanted to say congratulations again!” Ava pecked him on the cheek. “What a beautiful evening!” 

Rowan gave Bill a hug. His hand landed a little too low on her back, She let go but he left his hand there, resting on her bare skin.

“Have I told you that you look lovely in this dress.” He said in his charming voice. 

_New scar, same old Bill._

He gave Rowan a look that made Ava want to apparate as far as magically possible.

_For Merlin’s sake!_

“You’re a married man now!” Rowan tried to ease the tension by turning it into a joke.

“I’m married, not dead! See you around.” Bill winked at her and left. Fleur was back and probably wanted another dance.

The girls looked at each other and went back to their table without saying a word.

“Wotcher! Ben!” Tonks tapped Ben on the shoulder.

“Tonks!” Penny smiled, “Don’t worry, I made these three promise not talk _business_ at a wedding. Just look at their miserable faces! For Helga's sake! As if I asked them to take an Unbreakable Vow. Anything you can tell us to lighten up the mood?”

Tonks put her left hand in the air, grinning from ear to ear. There was a ring on her finger.

“You got married?!” Penny gasped.

“What a surprise! I was 92% sure you were not marriage material back at Hogwarts!” Murphy added smiling.

“Murphy!” Penny stared at him.

“It’s alright!” Tonks laughed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. We had to keep things quiet for obvious reasons.”

Ava felt like there was a lump stuck in her throat.

“Of course! The anti-werewolf legislation,” Rowan shook her head. “It’s completely barbaric! Congratulations to you and Remus!” 

“To Remus and Tonks!” Ben raised his champagne flute.

Everyone responded in unison and took a sip of their drinks.

_Say something. Anything._

“I need some air.” Ava got up from the table and stormed out of the marquee.

She stepped right out into a warm summer evening wishing Jae was here with his Muggle cigarettes.

“Ava..” She turned around to see Tonks.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. Congratulations! I’m happy for you. Really.” She paused. “I understand why you didn’t tell us. It just still _stinks_ to find out like this. Congratulations again.” She finished awkwardly.

“You have a right to be mad. Truth be told, there was no one at the ceremony really, just my folks. It was beautiful though, not far from my home in Dover. I always wanted to get married at the Cliffs.”

“That sounds lovely,” Ava smiled. “Not going to lie, can’t imagine you in a wedding dress.”

Tonks laughed in response. “You don’t have to. I can show you.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Tonks nodded.

_Legilimens!_

__

_She saw the cliffs on a warm summer evening, the sun was just beginning to set. The sea beautiful and calm, Ava could almost smell the salt of the waves and the freshness of the countryside grass. Tonks and Remus were standing close to the edge of the Cliff, holding hands as her father, Ted Lupin, was looking at them with glimpses of tears of his eyes. He was serving as their marriage officiant. The only other guest was Tonks’ mother - Andromeda - who was wiping off the tears with a handkerchief._

_Tonks was wearing a long white lace wedding dress, a flower crown was sitting on top of her bright pink hair instead of a traditional veil. The dress was simple but elegant, even though it didn’t look brand new — Ava’s guess was that the dress belonged to her mother. Remus, in his dark grey suit was looking at his bride with complete adoration._

__

How beautiful and intimate it felt, the opposite of the loud and cheerful wedding they were attending this evening. Not better or worse, just _different._

“Tonks..” Ava snapped out of the memory. “That was so breathtakingly beautiful. And your father.. Tonks, I need to tell you about Tu..”

“Tonks,” She saw Remus’ wondering eyes. “Here you are!”

“Hello, Remus,” Ava smiled at him genuinely, “Congratulations on getting married.”

“Thank you, Ava.” He turned his face to his wife, “Don't mean to interrupt, I was just going to ask my wife for a dance but if you two are chatting..” Tonks looked at Ava. 

“Go,” She whispered back at her and watched the married couple go back inside to join the party.

Suddenly, Ava shivered. She didn't even notice when it got dark. It was time to go back to her friends’ table.

“Amelia, say bye-bye to everyone!” Penny picked up her daughter. Amelia waved at everyone and then rubbed her eye — it was her bed time. “Let’s get your daddy and go home.”

“I think I saw him talking to Viktor Krum earlier!” Ben said. “Quiddich table.” He pointed to the right.

“Alright, I’m going to go find him and say good-bye to the newlyweds!” She hugged Ben with one arm the best she could while holding a toddler. “I’ll see you two later! Have fun!” Penny smiled at Ava and Rowan.

There was only three of them left at the table when Charlie Weasley appeared out of nowhere and took one of the empty seats.

“Hey Best man! Nice speech you said earlier!” Ava smiled at her friend.

"Thank you!" Charlie said as he put his hand on Rowan’s shoulder and turned to her.

“How are you holding up?”

“Surprisingly well. I have a strange feeling.. Like a dodged a bullet! Want to dance?” She asked Charlie. 

“Shots first!” Ava made a sign to the waiter and in a few seconds four shot glasses with Firewhisky appeared in front of them. 

“To Bill and Fleur! And their happily ever after!” Rowan said cheerfully which left her friends pleasantly surprised.

_Maybe it was a good idea for her to come to this wedding after all._

Rowan grabbed Charlie by the hand and pulled him to the dance floor. As a slow song started playing, Ava looked in their direction and saw the newlyweds circling in the middle of the dance floor, joined by their parents and friends. 

“I’ve heard Harry Potter is here tonight, poor kid probably had to take Polyjuice Potion.” Ben said with a glimpse of sadness in his voice. Ava noticed him scanning the crowd with his eyes. She knew too well Ben was _not_ hoping to see the Potter kid right now.

“He’s going to come, don’t worry,” She said reassuringly. “Care for a dance, Head boy?”

He smiled and took her hand. The band was playing a cover of one of the Celestina Warbeck’s songs — her mother’s favorite.

_  
I’m losing all control  
My chest is one big hole  
_

Ava felt a little drunk. She rested her head on Ben’s shoulder and observed the familiar couples dance around the room: Charlie spined Rowan and as she almost fell, he caught her and they burst into laughter, Bill and Fleur were united in a long kiss, Molly & Arthur Weasley were looking lovingly at each other..

_  
Inside you'll see my soul  
Happy as can be  
'Cause, babe, you charmed the heart right out of me!  
_

Ava smiled.

_It feels so nice to be home among friends._

Suddenly, a blinding light made Ava avert her eyes. Confused, she stepped away from Ben struggling to make out the source of the disruption.

_A Patronus._

"The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."

_What in Merlin’s name.._

She heard a loud crack that was hard to confuse with any other sound. 

_The protective enchantments are breaking!_

Some of the guests started to disapparate, panic and screams everywhere.

She looked at Ben, “Ben, get..”

Right behind him, she saw a tall Dark Figure. 

“Watch out!” Ben screamed back at her as he pulled her down to the floor. Some spell flew over them where their faces were a second ago hitting the Death Eater that stood behind Ben in the chest.

_  
Bombarda!_

_Confringo!_

_Avada Kadavra!_

“Take Ron and leave!” She heard Remus yell at someone. 

“Protego totalum!” Tonks was casting protective spells.

More dark figures, all masked. Their numbers were growing with each second.

_We need to stop them from getting in._

There was panic everywhere, someone bumped into Ava and she turned around to see Rowan.

“Let’s move away from the center! We’re an easy target here!” Rowan exclaimed.

“We need to keep them out! Start casting protective charms, me and Ben will cover you!”

_Expelliarmus!_

She missed.

_Crucio!_

That one luckily missed her.

Years of paperwork and no dueling practice did Ava no good. Best thing she could do was try to remember the defensive charms to protect herself and her friends.

_Protego Maxima!_

Ava blocked the spell aimed at Rowan.

_Hell yes! I'm still good at.._

_Crucio!_

It caught her mid-thought. The curse hit her in the stomach. It hurt so bad her ears started ringing, the unbearable burning sensation spread from her torso to her chest. It felt like hundreds of needles were piercing her skin. Ava stumbled, made a few awkward steps backwards, tried to grab the walls of the marquee but its curtains were no good mean of support. She fell right through it and landed on her back. 

_Fuck, my wand!_

This was the end.

It was dark and she was outside. A masked figure stepped out to finish what he started. Behind him, inside the marquee, red sparks were flying back and forth and sometimes, a glimpse of green.

She was frantically searching the ground with her fingers for her wand, eyes glued to the figure. He raised his wand slowly. He had her.

_Stupefy!_

His body made a loud sound when it hit the ground. Ava finally grabbed her wand and got up to her feet. She looked up to see her savior but in front of her stood another masked figure. He must have gotten close while she was trying to get up.

Before she was able to cast a spell, he grabbed her by the arm and they apparated.

***

Ava gasped for air as soon as twisting and turning stopped. Instead, her mouth was filled with water. Frantic, she tried to reach the bottom with her feet. It was too deep. 

She stretched her arm out for help and someone grabbed it and pulled her up. She felt another body pressed against hers dragging her from the depth. Ava finally took a loud breath. Disoriented, she didn’t fight whoever was trying to get her to the shore.

_The stupid dress. It’s too damn long._

As soon as it was possible for her to reach the bottom, she started walking towards the shore. Clearly her mysterious savior had his chance to kill her if he wanted to. He didn’t even need to do anything — why not simply let her drown. She got caught in her long skirt and fell into the water again.

_I’ll burn this stupid dress._

When she finally made it to the shore, she fell to her knees and stayed like that for a moment trying to calm herself and catch her breath. Then stood up and faced the dark figure. He was standing there unmasked, he must have taken the cloak off earlier in the water to make it easier to swim. 

_You!_

In a few quick steps she reached him and threw her arms around him. 

“Thank you, thank you!” She whispered into his ear, “You saved me.” 

She cupped his face with the palms of her hands as he looked straight into her eyes. 

“Ava, I..” Barnaby said.

“You saved me.” She glanced down at his lips for a split second and brought her face close to his.

Her lips brushed against his slowly, unsurely. For a second he hesitated and then pressed his lips into hers with a force. She opened her mouth to let his tongue meet hers. He tasted like Firewhisky. Or maybe it was her? They both tasted like salt.

She pulled away from him and managed to quickly unzip her dress, it was heavy and wet, and she had no use for it now. Still wearing a silky slip, she pushed him on the sand and got on top. His arms were all over her as she leaned down to kiss him, her hands wandering over his body — the body she knew so well.

Ava unbuttoned his shirt and he pulled it off. She kissed the skin of his bare chest, wanting more. Barnaby moaned in response. Her hands started to undo the belt on his trousers in a hurry.

For a second she lost her balance, leaned forward and to the right, grabbing the inner side of his arm just below the elbow to stop herself from falling. His skin felt different there.

_No._

A chill went down Ava’s spine. 

“No,” she gasped.

She jumped up, the next second she was on her feet, taking a few steps away from the spot where their bodies were just lying intertwined. 

Her eyes were wide in horror.

He was rising slowly looking directly at her. The body that she knew so well. Except for the tattoo on his left forearm.

The Dark Mark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of this chapter will be coming out shortly. As you may have guessed, we have two more weddings and a funeral ;)


	17. Four weddings and a funeral. Part Two. August 1st 1997.

Four weddings and a funeral. Part Two.

***

The night was dark and starry. Ava was sitting on the sand, knees up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as in an effort to comfort herself. Barnaby was sitting next to her, he kept burring his fingers in the sand, playing with it nervously.

“Why come here? Why try to save me?” Ava asked in a steadied voice. She felt numb.

“I’ve found out about their plans. I couldn’t let them capture you.” He sighed heavily.

_Them. As you’re not a part of “them”._

“Why aren’t you afraid that You-Know-Who is going to use Occlumency on you?”  


“He won’t waste his time on me.” Barnaby smirked.

“Are you _not_ one of his favorites?”

She regretted it as soon as the words came out of her mouth. She tried to shake off the memory of Barnaby back at Hogwarts, physically shaking from fear and trauma after she saw the memory of his first encounter with the Dark Lord and made him relive it.

“I’m sorry, B.. I shouldn’t have said that.” 

Barnaby averted his eyes from her. 

“My strategy is to stay low. I do not wish to climb ranks, and most certainty not to cause trouble or object. Anyone who says even one word against him.. it’s a suicide mission. I’ve seen what the bodies of those who tried to protest his terms looked like.. A Dementors kiss is a blessing compared to all the creative ways of torture they came up with..Merula..”

_Oh no._

“Is she dead?” Ava said, horrified. She tilted her head and leaned forward a bit trying to read the expression of his face.

“Worse,” he finally met her gaze. “She’s married. She’s married to Rosier.”

Ava remembered Felix Rosier well. Four years their senior, a Slytherins prefect, the git was the reason Gryffindor lost a 150 points during her third year. He was handsome but the way his dark eyes stared directly at you always made her uncomfortable. The constant smug look on his pale face showing the privilege he’s been experiencing his whole life. He was rather popular back at Hogwarts but Ava has never been a part of _that_ sort of crowd nor she wanted to be.

_This is not that bad._

“Well I don’t mean to be rude but..it seems like a good match for her.” Ava begun in an uncertain voice. “Weren’t all of the Slytherin girls obsessing over him anyways? I thought she had a crush on him when we were kids since Ismelda already picked you as an object of admiration. He is a perfect pureblood bachelor after all — an older brother that died a Death Eater hero resisting arrest, his father, a part of You-Know-Who’s inner circle..” 

“No, Ava, you don’t understand.” Barnaby interrupted her, “Rosier senior.”

_What in Godrc’s name.._

Ava was at a loss of words, she just stared at Barnaby in disbelief.

“Fuck.. Rosier senior? Isn’t he like 80 years old or something?”

“He just turned 68.”

“What was she thinking?!” Ava blurted out.

“You think they _asked_ her for her opinion?” A nervous laugh escaped his lips. “You can’t imagine what’s going on there.”

“Was that a political marriage? Did her parents arrange that?” Ava’s brain was trying to come up with the logical reasons behind this atrocious union. Then she added horrified, “Did she take the mark?”

Barnaby sighed.

“The mark? The mark is a reward, not a punishment. You don’t understand. Merula is nothing like you remember her. Yes, she’s a talented witch but she’s not a stubborn child that runs around Hogwarts doing whatever she pleases anymore. She’s been through hell.. “ his gaze wandered off, like he was distracted by a memory. “And when I say hell, I mean it.” His tone was cold. ”Since her parents are considered traitors after letting themselves getting captured and sent to Azkaban, they fell out of favor. It’s bad enough they got captured alive, they tried to deny their allegiance to the Dark Lord during their trials, they gave up names. It means that the Snydes are doing everything in their power to gain _some_ sort of respect. Their blood status may be Pure but they are at the bottom of the food chain amongst the Death Eater ranks right now.”

He looked to the ground again and paused.

“So no, she didn’t take the mark, she was never offered any rewards. She was _herself_ a reward.. To a disgusting old sadist.”

“But why, why didn’t she resist?”

_That was a dumb question._

He looked at her in disbelief.

“You can’t imagine what they can do to you unless you see it with your own eyes! I’ve watched them Crucio children in front of their mothers, using the Imperius Curse on a wizard who tried disobeying the Dark Lord.. They made him kill his whole family — his wife and three kids. He cut his own throat after he snapped out of it.” Barnaby paused and closed his eyes. “I’ve seen a 16 year old take the Mark last summer. A 16 year old! And those lunatics acted like it was a reason for a celebration!”

_Which means.._

“So what have _you_ done?” She met a confused look in his eyes with a long stare. “What have _you_ done to earn your reward, as you call it?”

Barnaby’s face fell at her words. He swallowed hard and spoke.

“I’ve given him Chiara.”

_Fuck, B._

“How could you?!” She gasped. 

“I can explain.”

“Oh, _can_ you now? Can you explain _why_ you betrayed your girlfriend?”

“I did it for you!” He snapped. 

“I didn’t ask for this!”

“Please,” he pleaded to her, “let me explain.”

Ava felt like all the air has left her lungs again, like she was back under the water. She wanted to apparate as far from there as possible to avoid hearing what he was about to say. 

But she didn’t have the luxury of not knowing anymore, she had to face the reality of the war. And it was still him, her Barnaby. His green eyes were still kind, his hair still messy.. His body was more muscular now but it was _still_ him. Except for that ugly thing on his forearm.

_I need to hear him out._

She nodded and Barnaby went on.

“As you have figured out, You-Know-Who is summoning the Dark Creatures. Just like he did during the First War. The giants, dementors, the Inferi..Fenrir is the head of his werewolf operation. He is the one hunting down every free werewolf who’s not a part of the pack. When they join a pack, they are easier to control.. And I have to say, a lot of them joined willingly since they’ve been treated like crap by the Wizardling folk for centuries.”

He caught her wondering gaze.

“Of course Chiara would _never_ join willingly. She lost her job when they found out _who_ she was.. You can’t work among healers and come down with a mysterious cough every Full Moon. Some of her colleagues have figured out her secret but they kept quiet, covered for her.. It didn’t last long.” He sighed heavily. “In the end they took away her Healer’s license. Chiara was devastated, she didn’t think it could get any worse.. and then Fenrir’s Hunt has started. My family owns a house in the Southern coast of Ireland, not far from Cork.. It's been abandoned since my aunt Rosmelda died, she was my mother’s cousin. After the first threat from Fenrir came.. Well she knew it was a warning and next time he will take her by force.”

Ava was listening silently, not daring to interrupt.

“Chiara has made two other werewolf acquaintances that were in a similar situation. One, an older witch that was a shopkeeper in Northwick. She’s managed to live 70 years without telling anyone her secret, not sure why the werewolves even needed the poor old witch. The other one.." he sighed. "Chiara met a family who had a son that got bitten by Fenrir just like she was. The parents didn’t know how to deal with his harassments. They had two other children and nowhere to run. So they entrusted the kid, Aaron, to Chiara and made it look like he ran away from home.”

He sighed heavily and continued.

“They were trying to find a smart place to hide, somewhere no one would be searching for them.. And what better place than some abandoned home of You-Know-Who supporters? No one would be looking there.. But to make sure..”

_No._

_No, please don’t tell me you were.._

“I offered her to be the Secret Keeper.” Ava kept listening horrified. “And as you know, the only way for the secret to be told is to tell it willingly..”

“And were you willing? To give her up? Along with two other people?” She said angrily and looked straight at him. “One was a child for Merlin’s sake!”

“Do you think it was an easy choice to make?” His voice was hard. “A burden I will carry for the rest of my life!”

“Then why take it?” She stared at him in confusion.

“Because.. Because he’s also gathering the Leggilimens.”

“The Leggilimens? But why?”

“The Death Eaters created a torture division. You-Know-Who uses them to collect the intel and any information he finds useful. They.. That’s where the _real_ torture happen. They boil peoples’ skin, cut off body parts just to magically grow them back to..well, you know. There is a room full of just cut-off limbs..It's bloody insanity!” He paused. “Some of them are sick maniacs or power hungry individuals but some are _made_ to do all those things. Because if they don’t deliver, he does worse to their families.”

Ava thought she was about to get sick.

“I am shit in Occlumency, A.. “ He said, pleading. “I knew I didn’t stand a chance against him if he wanted to really dig deep into my memories, I knew I would have shown him you were a born Legilimens, the rarest kind. I was hoping the whole situation with Chiara’s search would just blow over since she was one of many werewolves that were missing. But she was too memorable in her wolf form. Fenrir was obsessed with her, he wanted to make sure she was caught.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I said,” Ava replied apologetically. “Did they torture you?”

“Torture me?” A nervous laugh escaped his lips. “I was brought in before the Dark Lord for questioning and left without as much as a scratch on my skin. I wish they would have tortured me, A. I wish they would have cut my fingers off, grew them back and cut them one by one all over again and then Crucio’d me until I couldn’t breathe anymore.” He tried to steady his voice. “I couldn’t give him a reason to doubt my loyalties. As soon as I found out I was being summoned, I knew what I had to do.. I had to make it look like I am on their side, like I planned the whole thing to prove my allegiance.. I.. I thought about taking my own life but it was too fucking late. They already came for me. I.. I told him I tricked Chiara into thinking she could trust me to capture not only her but all of the runaway werewolves she knew. I told them the secret.. Willingly.”

“So what happened next?” Ava asked. 

“Oh they bought into it. My father was ecstatic. Told me he was proud.” Barnaby clenched his fists. “My father is viewed as a much more loyal supporter than Merula’s parents. He is.. Angrier than ever. Vicious, dangerous. So I was offered to take the Mark.. the offer you do not refuse.” 

He covered his face with his hands for a moment.

“You know, A. More than anything I’ve been afraid of those words, of my father’s approval. He _sickens_ me.”

She knew better than anyone how Barnaby felt about his father and, at that very moment, she felt for him.

“You didn’t.. Well those were not your true intentions. You were only trying to protect me the best way you could given the circumstances.” She touched his hand gently. “Do you know what happened to Chiara after that? Where they are keeping her?”

_Is she even alive?_

“Not exactly. But I’m looking into it. Discreetly.”

“So what exactly is your position now?”

“A Magizoologist in a sense. My dream came true!” He said angrily. “Only I have to work with the Dark Creatures and Beasts. You-Know-Who wants us to study Erklings, Acromantulas.. To see how we can use them. He’s obsessed with capturing a Manticore but those are _very_ rare as you know.” 

“I wouldn’t even know what to do with Half of those if I ever meet them on a battle field..”

“I report to Felix Rosier, that’s how I ended up at Merula’s wedding. My main focus are Giants and Trolls — I spend most of the time just following orders.. observing, making notes, creating unnecessary paperwork. I’m not trying to make any discoveries that help his Army. 

Ava sighed heavily. It was killing her to learn that the Dark Lord has been using Barnaby’s talents in such a twisted way.

“And when I’m not busy with work, I have to stay at our family home in Wesford..I am being groomed to be the Manor’s master by my beloved Father. In three weeks..”

“The Manor’s Master? Is your father sick?”

“No, unfortunately that bastard is alive and well. The Dark Lord is preoccupied not only with gaining supporters.. he started making more of the _future_ plans, so to speak. He thinks his army will sustain serious casualties in the war to come and he needs to replace the losses. To create a new generation of pureblood supporters.”

“What happens in three weeks?”

“I get married.”

 _One, Two, Three.. You need to stay calm. Fuck!_

Ava tried to calm herself. They sat there in complete silence for a minute listening as the waves crashed gently onto the shore. 

Her friends could have been killed or seriously injured. She shouldn’t care. Not with everything that's going on around them.

 _Why the fuck do I still care?_

“Who?” she finally managed to ask.

Barnaby swallowed. 

“Ismelda.” He answered.

 _That bitch._

She dropped her face into her hands. Then managed to look at him.

“Well at least it’s not some 60 year old witch.”

“Not funny.”

“Is she happy? Since she’s been obsessed with you since the second year.”

A sudden thought crossed her mind.

“Unless the two of you are..”

“Trust me, we are not.” He rushed to respond. “I _loathe_ her. She’s a devoted supporter of Pure Blood ideals. Can’t wait to start a family and pop out more battle meat for You-Know-Who. You know how she was raised, a traditional pure blood girl, they convince them that they only serve one purpose — to get married and keep her mouth shut.”

 _A family?_

He read the question in her eyes. 

“The reason you know who is ordering his supporters to get married is to get the offsprings as soon as possible. In case.. the casualties are higher than anticipated. So I’m expected to get her pregnant within the next year or I’ll be severely punished.”

“I’m sorry..”

“Save it for someone who deserves it.”

“But you _do_ deserve it! You..”

 _He what? Is he a victim in this story? Is he her savior? Chiara’s doom?_

“Are you really.. trying to find Chiara?”

“I am. The werewolf camps are scattered off all over Britain since the werewolves are so territorial. I am trying to find out where they are keeping her but I need to play smart.”

She nodded.

“Have you heard anything about Liz? Charlie told me she disappeared last June.” Suddenly, a thought has crossed her mind and she gasped, “Did they marry her off?!”

“No.. I mean, it’s possible but I highly doubt it. I haven’t heard anything about her whereabouts but Liz has always been a bit different. She possesses a very specific skill set that the Dark Lord needs right now. We were the top of our class in Creature care: Liz, Charlie and I. I’d bet my galleons that she’s made to work on some other project I’m not a part of. There was a talk about Unicorns.”

“Unicorns?” Ava asked, confused. “But they are light creatures? What use could they be for the Dark Lord?”

“Their blood. Possibly.”

“But Liz? Made to hurt unicorns? She’s the biggest creature rights supporter I’ve met! She’d never..”

“You do not know what they are capable of.” Barnaby cut her off. 

“Do you think she could have been..” She couldn’t finish.

“Killed? No, she may not be a part of the Sacred 28 but her blood is still valuable and worst case scenario, she can be given to someone as a pureblood bride. Maybe they are keeping her in some cell. I doubt she went into hiding — she would have told Charlie first. The two of them were..”

“Perfect for each other, I know.” It pained Ava to imagine what Charlie must have felt. “Did you stay in touch?”

“Me and Liz? We did. We, Slytherins, are as tight as any other House. It’s just harder for us to look out for one another since you know.. Some of us are insane blood-thirsty maniacs?”

She smiled. 

“I’ll start looking for Liz too.” Barnaby said.

“I can help!”

“Please, don’t! I want you as far from this whole thing as possible. I promise, I’ll figure it out..”

“But how are you going to do it alone?”

“I’m not alone,” he sighed. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Who’s helping you? Are you working with the Order?”

“The _Order_ ?” He looked at her, confused. “No, I have no connection to the Order. Merula is trying to help me since her husband holds all of his meetings at the Rosier Manor. But she has to be even more careful since the old bastard is watching her closely. She doesn’t have a lot of fingers left as it is..”

“What?!”

“It’s fine! I mean of course it’s not fucking fine. But it could have been much worse for her and she knows it. She’s a survivor. All of us Slytherins are..” He looked at Ava, “I have to go, I’ve stayed too long.”

“Please, can we meet again?”

“Absolutely not.”

He got up and Ava jumped up to her feet. He closed the space between them and put his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

She rested her head on his chest. 

_I hope this is not the last time I see you._

They stood like that for a minute. He let go first and took a small step backwards looking directly into her eyes. His face serious. 

“No matter what happens, no matter what I have to do, please remember — You are my only loyalty.”

He apparated leaving Ava alone on the shore. She looked at the dress she wore to Bill’s wedding — a wet pile on the sand. 

_Where in the Merlin’s name am I?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original plan was to write two more chapters and wrap up Part 1 of my story — “Piece” so that we can move on to more action. But I like writing dialogue too much so I sincerely apologize, there will be part 3 of this chapter coming out within the next couple of days so that we can give the characters a sense of direction in the upcoming War.


	18. Four weddings and a funeral. Part Three.

Four weddings and a funeral. Part Three.

***

“Where is he?” Ava asked as soon as she entered the kitchen.

Fleur nodded in the direction of the back door. It led out out of the cottage and onto the beach. She was wearing a simple grey sweater and black pants, her blonde hair pullled into a low ponytail. But even when Fleur tried to look ordinary, her beauty managed to shine through. Like Tonks was blessed with being a Metamorphmagus, Remus and Chiara were cursed with Lycanthropy, Fleur couldn’t help with being — well, stunning.

 _I hope she has other talents._

Ava immediately regretted the thought. Fleur invited them into their new home and offered her help without even knowing them. What talents did Ava, herself, possed? Being a Legilimens? She hasn’t decided if that one was a blessing or a curse yet. 

They were at Bill and Fleur’s cottage in Tinworth. It was small but cozy with whitewashed walls that had seashells embellished into them. With such proximity to the water, you could almost taste the salt in the air even inside. 

Rowan, Penny and Jae were sitting at the kitchen table. Fleur just finished making sandwiches for them and levitated the plate for the guests to share the snacks. Bill was leaning against the kitchen sink. 

“His things.” Ava dumped a backpack she was carrying right on the floor and went straight for the door leaving her friends behind.

Ben was sitting alone on the sand in the same suit he wore to the wedding. She sat down next to him. 

“I really thought he didn’t have it in him to be open about us in public. I doubted him while he was.. fighting for his life.. trying to protect..”

“You didn’t know, Ben..” She said softly. 

“I should have known something was about to happen.” He lowered his head and sighed, “I loved him. I.. still.. love him.”

Ava wrapped her arms around Ben’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. They stayed like that for a while.

***

Rowan turned her face from the window, looking away from two figures, embracing on the sand. 

“He’s been out there all morning..” 

Fleur was upstairs, taking care of Charlie who had a mild concussion after getting hit with a Bombarda Charm in the ear during the attack. 

“My heart breaks for Ben.” Penny said holding up a cup of tea that Fleur made for them. “I can’t even imagine what he’s going through right now.”

“He won’t even have a chance to say a proper good-bye.” Bill’s tone was angry. “They are insisting that the Minister resigned and those five law enforcement squad members followed in solidarity! The audacity to come up with such a lousy cover-up!” He clenched his fists.

“All those wizards just disappear and no one is going to start looking for them? Asking questions?” Penny asked, astonished. “What about their families?”

No one spoke up as they all knew the answer.

“Either way I wouldn’t show my face anywhere in public if I were him.” Jae added. “What’s the point of demanding answers from the very same people that committed the crime? I’ve also heard a rumor that there is a registry for the Muggle-Borns coming soon. Another reason to lay low. Don't look at me like that Bill, I’m a Half-Blood, I need to stay cautious too. You, Weasleys, may be Muggle sympathizers but you are still Purebloods.”

Rowan sighed. There was a Portkey hiding as a lonely white sock on a chair next to her. The portkey was set to go off in an hour. It was their last chance to go back to America. 

The friends heard the steps coming from the stairs. 

“Charlie is feeling much better! I gave 'im Sleeping Draught that Penelope brought with 'er.”

“My friends call me Penny.” Fleur smiled in response.

“When my grandmother died..” Jae started and everyone turned to him to listen — it was rare that he shared something personal with anyone. “it was devastating.. You guys know that she practically raised me.. but having a burial ceremony has really helped me cope with the idea that she’s really gone.”

“Do you think we should.. have a memorial service?” Bill asked.

“Just to say our goodbyes.” Jae shrugged.

“Wouldn’t that be a little strange?” Rowan asked, “I’m not trying to be rude but.. I didn’t even know he was gay. It’s like.. I didn’t know him at all.”

“I had my suspicions,” everyone looked at Penny. “That over-the-top macho persona he was trying to sell? And hitting on every girl at Hogwarts? Not very Hufflepuff-like behavior. We were in the same House, you notice things.” she shrugged. “I just.. Wanted to give him privacy until he’s ready to tell everyone himself. I may have been the queen of gossip back in our day but this seemed like one of the things you should not take away from people. I think it’s a lovely idea to have a ceremony, Jae.” 

Jae nodded, “I’ll get everything ready.”

“I’ll go get Ava and Ben” Rowan said.

***

“I have to go, Murphy is waiting for me.” They were all outside, standing on a cliff but not far enough from the cottage to reach the apparition walls. The cottage was cut off the Floor network to prevent any unwanted visitors. Fleur politely stayed behind to keep an eye on Charlie.

“I really don’t like that you two are going back to work.” Ava shook her head. 

“We’re Pure Bloods, we’re not at risk,” Penny reassured her. “Well.. I still need to _borrow_ a few ingredients from St. Mungo’s for my potions before I could consider leaving.”

“Murphy is going to be our eyes and ears in the Prophet.” Bill added.

“He writes for the Quidditch column!” Ava pleaded to him, “How helpful can this be for the Order?” 

“Bill’s right,” Ben said. “I wish I could go back to the ministry to find out who’s with _them_.“

_That would be a suicide mission._

Penny hugged Ava, Rowan, Bill and Jae good-bye. It was Ben’s turn.

“My dear..” She wrapped her arms around him tightly. “I’m _so_ sorry for your loss, Ben.” 

“I’m sorry too, Penny.”

She wiped off a tear running down her cheek with a sleeve of her robes, crossed the apparition line and disappeared with a crack.

“Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to come with me?” Rowan tried to stay calm.

“Rowan, we’ve talked about it..” Ava pleaded to her.

“I know, I know.. It’s just.. hard,” her voice broke, “to leave you here in danger. I feel like I’m running away!”

“Rowan, we need you there. You have a mission.”

“Charlie is going back to Romania for the same reason,” Bill added. ”We need to have safe houses and alliances far from Britain in case..” Bill’s expression grew serious, “in case we lose.”

“We don’t know how much time we have. We need to hide as many Muggle Born wizards and witches as possible. Not to mention, we need to petition for portkeys to get them there. You’re an Ivermony Professor, you’re well-respected.” Ava tried to reason with her friend.

“Alright,” Rowan seemed to have accepted her fate. “I’ll get on it as soon as I’m back. I already owl’ed Tulip.” She turned to Ava, “I’ll keep an eye on your apartment while you’re here.” She glanced at the watch on her wrist, “2 minutes left.”

The girls embraced. It was strange to think that Ava was leaving her life in America behind so abruptly. She owl’ed her boss saying that she contracted Spattergroit and will need at least a few weeks to recover. She was hoping the’d buy into her plan — Death Eater had ears everywhere, even in MACUSA. 

Rowan gave Jae a hug. “Keep an eye on her for me.” He nodded in response. 

“Good-bye Bill.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Stay safe.” 

“Ben..” She hugged him tightly. “If you need me, I’m available day and night. Anything you need.” She took one good look at the group, “That goes to every single one of you.”

Before anyone could respond, Rowan took a few quick steps, pulled the sock out of the pocket of her robes and, in a second, the portkey took her to the other side of the ocean. 

“See you around, Weasley.” Jae said shaking Bill’s hand. He turned to Ben. “I’m sorry, mate.” He pulled him into a hug. 

“Thank you, Jae. Rowan told me the ceremony was your idea..”

“Time for me to head out.” Jae looked down shyly.

It was Ava’s turn to say her good-byes to Bill. “I’ll wait for you to contact me when it’s safe to do so.” He nodded in response. “And Bill..” Ava sighed. “Fleur seems like a good girl. Don’t fuck this up.” 

Ben nodded towards Jae who was already walking away to the apparition point. “I’ll give you two a moment.”

Ava followed Jae. He was wearing one of his infamous yellow hoodies.

“You were right,” she said once she reached him. “He _is_ with them.”

Jae looked at her from the corner of his eye.

“Rowan told me about what happened.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have overstepped. You two have history and..”

“Jae, if I..”

“Ava, it's cool. We’re cool. I know where I stand.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not going to lie, staying here is the stupidest, most dangerous decision you’ve ever made.”

“We need to fight!”

“We need to play smart. We need to stay alive.”

She looked at him in awe. “Spoken like a true Gryffindor!” Ava said in a sarcastic tone.

“Is this the best you've got? I question that stupid hat every day.” He smirked. “Are you sure we can trust him?”

She nodded.

“And Merula?”

“If Barnaby trusts her, I do too. And you know him.. He wouldn’t hurt a Bowtruckle.”

Jae nodded. “It won’t be easy but I’ll try to make contact.”

“Here, have one of these!” Ava handed him a coin. “Bill came up with the idea. The numbers on the side will change into the time, date and coordinates. It will get hot so you’ll know when the signal comes.”

“That’s bloody brilliant! Are you sure that was Bill's idea?”

Ava shrugged.

_As long as it works, I couldn’t care less._

He gave her a worried look one last time. 

“Play smart. Stay alive.” He apparated.

“Ready?” Ben came up to her from behind.

Ava nodded. She took him by the hand and they disappeared.

A ginger-haired wizard with a long pink scar on his face was the only figure left standing on the cliff. 

Next to him, a grey stone with a wreath made of sea lavender. The stone read:

  
_In memory of Diego Caplan,  
dueling champion and  
a dear friend._

**END OF PART ONE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone who has patience to keep up with my story. Reading your comments and feedback brings me so much joy! I never thought I'd get to hear so many nice things! 
> 
> As I transition to part two, I'm going to take some time (not too long, I promise) to put all my ideas together and maybe go over the Part One to edit a couple of things. Don't worry, nothing major, so you won't have to reread the whole work. 
> 
> The war is coming and the characters will face new challenges, make hard choices and we will finally be introduced to Talbott. Whether you're #teamB, #teamJ or #teamT, I hope you're excited!


	19. Part II. War. The unfucking.

###  **Part II. War.**

The unfucking.

***

Ava and Ben apparated to Dartford, right to the end of Sycamore drive — a quiet street where Ava and Jacob grew up. Her family has lived amongst Muggles Ava's whole life but their house was at the dead end - that allowed them to keep their privacy without raising suspicion. 

“Don’t think anyone saw us.” Ben looked around sheepishly. 

“Hurry up!” Ava grabbed him by the hand and they started walking towards her childhood home.

“Are you going to make contact?” Ben said in a low voice.

“No, he always contacts me.”

“How will he know you’re here?” he asked, confused.

“I dunno, Ben. He just knows.” 

When they got to the door, she looked around. Sill just the two of them on the street.

She knocked 3 times and heard the quick steps coming towards the door. 

“Blimey, Ava! What are you doing here?” Her mum looked her up and down. “What’s wrong with your hair?” She then turned her face to Ben and her expression immediately changed. “Oh, Ben! Nice to see you, come in, dear!” The tone of her voice warm and welcoming. 

“Good afternoon, Cordelia.” Ben answered.

In a moment, they were inside, closing the door behind them.

_Melin, please don’t let anyone see us._

“Have you heard that the Prime Minister resigned?”

***

“Have you thought about what you’re going to say to him when you see him?” Ben asked while sitting on Ava’s bed in her childhood bedroom. 

The room hasn’t changed much: faded wall paper with tiny yellow begonias Ava always hated, a red throw covering the bed, her House color, of course. A maple desk pushed against the window that Ava was currently sitting on was still there. So many letters written at this desk during summers. The only objects out-of-place were two black backpacks sitting on the floor by the bed. 

“I don’t know..” Ava responded. “We’ll have to go over what happened. But he is usually up to date with all the recent events.”

“How does he know?”

“No clue! He’s always been well connected I guess..”

“Do you think it’s going to be _super_ awkward between you two?”

“Why does it have to be awkward?”

He stared at her.

“Who do you think I’m talking about?”

“Jacob! Who else…” the realization struck her, “Oh… Merlin, Ben, you’re right. I’m so used to only meeting with Jacob. With everything going on I haven’t even had a chance to consider what I’m going to say to him.. Seeing him again was out of the question for so long.. For years! I haven’t seen him since the end of the 6th year.”

“For 7 years.”

She nodded and repeated quietly “7 years.”

_Do I just say: hello. Like nothing happened? It’s good to see you? How pathetic it all sounds!_

“And last time you saw him, you shagged.” Ben laughed.

“Ben!” She gave him a stare, “Yes, I am well aware!” Ava sighed. “I have no fucking clue what I’m going to say to him when he’s _actually_ standing in front of me. I don’t even know where to start.”

“Maybe we should.. you know..” Ben looked down. “Thank him.”

“Thank him?”

“For what he’s done. He saved Rowan’s life. And mine. And to be honest, probably yours and Merula’s as well. Do you think Rakepick wouldn’t have finished us off?”

Ava nodded.

“I didn’t even say anything to him,” Ben continued. “Back there, in the Forbidden Forest. I didn’t even say good-bye or thank you or… Why didn’t I even hug him?”

“Hug him?” Ava smiled, “Can you imagine hugging Talbott to thank him?”

Ben laughed, “He’s not the hugging type. Or he wasn’t? Who knows how he is now? He’s 24 now.” He thought for a second, “or is he 25?”

“24. His birthday is in January.”

_January 13th, 1973._

“I honestly have no idea how much he’s changed, Jacob never told me anything about him. Didn’t think it was safe for me to know no matter how much I tried to get any news about Talbott out of him.” She could be honest with Ben. “Alright, let me check again.” She added impatiently. 

Ava went into the bathroom and turned the hot water tap. Then casted a water-heating spell nonverbally.

The room got filled with the steam.

The message above the mirror was clear:

_10pm. Our spot._

***

_Silencio!_

Ava casted a spell just to be on the safe side. Her parents were usually in bed by 9 o’clock, the perfect law abiding Wizards that they were. But she needed to be sure no one would follow them.  
They walked out of the house and after apparating, found themselves at the Braeburn park exactly at 10pm. 

It was quiet and dark. 

“I wonder when he’s going to..”

A loud crack made Ben pause mid-sentence as Jacob appeared in front of them. 

Ava was used to Jacob’s appearance but she wondered what Ben thought of him now. His hair was shaved, his favorite trench coat he always wore during her Hogwarts years long gone. Instead, he was wearing a worn-out grey cloak. A leather belt was still wrapped across his chest — Ava could only guess what Jacob was hiding there. If it wasn’t useful, he would have gotten rid of it years ago, he clearly needed it. Heavy dragon leather boots completed the look.

She wanted to give him a hug but Jacob seemed mad.

“Pip, what in Merlin’s name are you doing here?” He demanded without greeting them. “I’ve asked you to stay away from Britain! Why did you have to come? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Well hello to you too.” Said Ben.

Jacob turned to Ben and stared at him like he just noticed his presence.

“Hello, Head Boy!” Jacob said with a smirk. 

“Only my friends call me that.” Ben replied bluntly.

Jacob looked at him without responding which made Ava swallow nervously from the tension between the two guys. Then Jacob smiled, to Ava’s relief.

“I’m sorry. It’s Ben, right?” 

Ben nodded.

“Alright, Ben. Please tell me what you and my sister came here for and why is she not back home in America?”

“This is my home..”

“Not anymore.” Jacob’s tone was harsh again. “It’s changed.”

“I came here to fight!”

“You’ve got to be kidding..”

“We need to join you!”

“Are you insane? Are you both trying to get killed?”

“Jacob!”

“Go back home! And take your friend with you! Go hide! Pip..”

“Don’t Pip me!”

“Enough!” Ben almost shouted and both Ava and Jacob turned to him in surprise. “Will you two stop arguing? Mate,” he looked straight at Jacob, “I understand that you worry about your sister but big surprise! — no one is safe anymore. She didn’t go back to MACUSA with Rowan and that ship has sailed.” He took a breath. “A part of the reason why Ava is here is me and for that I’m sorry. My boyfriend..” he stopped for a second then pulled himself together, “was killed during the Scrimgeour assassination last night while we were at Bill Weasley’s wedding. I am a Muggle-born so if You-Know-Who controls the government now.. well.. you know what that means. I can’t go back to work..” 

“I have to be blunt with you, Jacob”, Ava saw that Ben was getting emotional and quickly took over. “You don’t have to let me join you. But you don’t have the authority to tell me what to do anymore. If you don’t want us with you — fine. We will leave. But that means that Ben and I will continue working on our own.”

Jacob looked at them, serious. “Alright.” He nodded. Then added, turning to the young wizard “sorry about your boyfriend, Ben. I’m sure he fought bravely.”

Ben only nodded in response.

“You have to tell me everything you know about what’s going on with the Ministry before I decide what we need to do next. Now.”

After Ava and Ben were done providing the details about the recent events, telling Jacob about Ava’s encounter with Barnaby and all the information he has given them, it was well past the midnight. They were sitting on the cold grass, their argument so heated, the cold did not bother them. 

Jacob sat there for a moment, quietly considering his options.

“This is really fucked.”

“I know.” Ava nodded.

“No, Pip. “Jacob turned to her. “You never took any Occlumency lessons, you came back to Britain multiple times when I specifically asked you not to. You go to a _wedding_! Not to mention, an Order member wedding that ended up getting under Death Eater attack! Do you know what they could have done to you..” He shook his head. “And don’t even start me on your stupid excuse on why you have to miss work. They have ears _everywhere_ .”

 _He has a point._

“You get kidnapped by your Death Eater ex,” he waved his hand at her signaling her not to interrupt. “Spy or not, he’s got the mark. You can not even comprehend how much risk he took doing what he did.”

“Jacob, we can trust Barnaby.” Ben tried to reason with him.

“And on top of that”, Jacob continued, “You show up here. Mum and dad have seen you too. Do you think dad would lie about seeing Ben after they start looking for him? And even if he decides to lie, do you think they won’t get the answer they want out of him?”

“I..” Ava didn’t know what to say.

“You really fucked things up, Pip.”

Jacob stood up.

“Where are you going? What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to unfuck them.”

***

The three of them apparated. Just like earlier today they were standing at the corner of Sycamore drive.

“So how are you planning on _unfucking_ things exactly?” Ava asked.

“I’m going to Imperius our parents.” Jacob’s tone was calm. 

“You’re going to do what?!” Ava and Ben stared at him in disbelief. 

“You both heard me. You showing up here puts their life in danger. They saw you, Pip. First, I’m going to Obliviate them to make sure they forget that the two of you were ever here. Then, I’m going to cast an Imperius charm on them. To make sure that, if questioned, they give the version of the story we want them to.”

“You’re going to cast an Unforgivable?” Ben asked in disbelief.

Jacob didn’t dignify him with an answer.

_Not his first time casting an Unforgivable, I bet._

“Why are you not mad?” Ben turned to Ava. “He’s going to cast it on your parents!”

“This is to protect them.”

“He’s going to go to Azkaban!”

_Do wizards get send to Azkaban for casting Unforgivables anymore?_

Ava shrugged. “Ben, do you have a better idea?”

“You two — get your stuff and meet me downstairs. I’ll take care of the rest.” Jacob started walking towards the house.

“This is wrong and you know it. There is a reason those curses are Unforgivable.” Ben half-whispered to her.

Ava didn’t respond, instead, she started walking to catch up with her brother.

***

When it was done Jacob met them downstairs. Ava and Ben each had their backpacks with them.

“Ready?” Jacob asked.

Ava nodded. She was leaving her childhood home with no idea when she’s going to see her parents again. Next month or next year — she could only hope for it to happen at all.

As soon as they walked to the end of the street and Jacob apparated them away.

***

“Where are we?” Ava asked looking around.

“Dornoch Forest.” He caught her confused look, “Scotland. There is a small wooden cabin here, well.. more of a shack. It’s a 5 minute walk that way.” He pointed to the North. “We use it every once in a while to relax — can’t stay anywhere for long, remember.”

“How did the ministry not find it?” Ben asked as they started walking.

“Dumbledore told us about it. His magic protected the cottage. But we were still cautions, never stayed there for longer than 2 days. When he..” Jacob paused for a second. “When he was killed, I guess whatever protective wards that were there stopped working. So we have to use our own now. They are not as powerful but..The ministry has fallen. I doubt they are really looking for us anymore.”

“So that night, our 6th year, when you picked up Talbott from the Forbidden Forest,” Ben continued, “you said that Dumbldore sent you. How did that happen exactly?”

Ava listened quietly. She was wondering that herself for years but Jacob never gave her an answer. She was curious if tonight was the night for him to come clean about everything.

“Dumbldore and I had a talk a couple months prior.. He had his suspicions about Rakepick. So he warned me that a day may come when he’ll need my help.” Jacob sighed, “He gave me a Portkey that could be activated if there is an emergency. Well, you know he activated it. He sent me a message through a Patronus that I need to get Talbott out if he agrees, of course.”

“But why did he ask you for help? Out of all people?” Ben said, “No offense to you.”

_You’re getting closer, Ben._

“It’s alright, I get it.” Jacob smiled. “I thought about it myself for years but.. I don’t have an answer. I know I’m thankful that someone joined me on my mission. And I’m also thankful it wasn’t my sister.”

“Hold on,” Ben stopped in his track and turned to Jacob, “Dumbledore sent you on a Mission?” He stared at him with disbelief.

“Sort of. He’s been giving me tasks, so to speak. That Talbott and I did for him.” Jacob responded. “Let’s keep walking. we're getting close.”

“What kind of tasks?”

“Getting information for the Order mostly.”

“Are you a part of the Order?” Ben gasped.

“The Order of the Phoenix?” This time Jacob was the one to stop.

For a moment Ava thought that he was about to be angry with them again. Instead — he started laughing.

Ben turned to Ava and whispered “What’s so funny?”

She shrugged.

After a few seconds Jacob was able to pull himself together. “No, we are not a part of the Order. In fact, Dumbledore was our only contact in the Order.”

_Which means.._

“So with Dumbledore gone..” Ben asked, “Are you on your own? Do you have a plan?”

Jacob didn’t have a chance to answer his question. A small wooden cabin stood in front of them amidst the trees — a dim light coming out of only one of its windows.

A tall figure was standing in front of the cabin. Ava couldn’t make out his features in the dark but it didn’t matter. She just knew.

_It’s him._


	20. Always the scars.

Always the scars.

***

The summer night was cool — the first sign that the Fall was near. Ava was leaning against one of the wooden poles at the cabin’s entrance. 

She exhaled heavily. No reason to complain — she volunteered to take watch tonight. Ben has been through enough in the last couple of days, he needed rest. And Jacob.. He wasn’t a person who’d let his little sister be take charge like that but he said he needed to preserve the energy. 

_What for? Jacob and his secrets.._

Ava couldn’t help but replay tonight’s events in her memory all over again.

The moment she _saw_ him. 

When she _really_ saw him.

After walking so fast she was on the verge of running. 

After he embraced her.

Ben was right, she should have thanked him. She should have thought of something smart to say, something nice, something important. Ava almost did it right.

When his hands closed around her, she lost all the words.

Ava didn’t realize her fingers were curling into the front of his robes until she forced herself to break away from him. She took a breath, pulled away and that’s when she finally _saw_ him. 

Talbott has always been easy to spot in the crowd of Hogwarts students because of his height, but he’s grown taller than any of their classmates, even Jae and Bill. He towered over her, his features almost aristocratic in their sharpness, the expression on his face unreadable, serious. He was looking straight at her with his dark brown eyes. For a moment, she could have sworn there was a glimpse of red in them.

Somehow, he stayed breathtakingly beautiful. Even after all these years.

“You’ve come to me. At last.” He said without looking away, his voice low and calm. 

It made a chill go down her spine.

Ava heard Jacob clear his throat. She took a step back from Talbott.

Her mind was somewhere else, there was an aura around Talbott that made her stay still under his gaze. She tried to exhale quietly, so that no one notices, to steady her heartbeat. She was so focused on her sensations, she didn’t hear what Ben said to Talbott. They shook hands and Ben touched his upper arm in a friendly gesture.

A quick exchange between Jacob and Talbott has followed.

“You sure?” Jacob asked.

“Absolutely.” 

“I’ll replace you when you need me to.”

Tablott nodded and started walking into the forest.

Ava just stood there, confused. In a few seconds, she couldn’t make out his silhouette between the trees anymore. 

“Where did he go?” She asked Jacob.

“He needs to take care of something.”

“Jacob, what is it?”

“Not tonight.” He cut her off and she knew better than to persist. “We were not prepared for your arrival.” He continued, “I’ll need to be ready to replace him whenever he’s back. One of you will have to take watch tonight.”

“I’ll do it.” Ben volunteered.

“No, Ben.” Ava’s voice was soft. “You need to rest too. Besides, I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep right now anyway.”

“Ava..” Ben tried to resist.

“She can take care of this.” Jacob said bluntly. “Your turn will come” he grinned, “welcome to the life on the run. Get used to it.” He went inside the old cabin.

In a few minutes, Ben came out to say goodnight. He brought Ava a cup of hot tea and a chocolate bar.

“Thank you.” She took a cup from her friend and brought the hot drink to her lips right away.

“No worries. Your brother..is kind of an arsehole.”

“I know.” She smiled. “Ben,” her tone turned serious, “how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” He cut her off. She didn’t want to push any further.

_Not tonight._

“Did you get to thank Talbott?” Ava tried to take his mind off things, “Sorry, I couldn’t focus..I didn’t hear what you said to him.”

“Not yet.. After I shook his hand, I forgot what I was about to say, when I touched him, I..”

“I know,” Ava interrupted. “it’s like all the words have left my mind, probably the nerves.” 

“Ava, it’s..”

“I know, it’s so strange!” She didn’t let him finish. Then furrowed her eyebrows. “I don't know why I become such an idiot in his presence. But..there’s something different about him, I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

“Ava,” Ben said in a serious tone. “He reeks of Dark Magic.”

_Fuck._

***

Tablott didn’t come back the next morning. Ava woke up when Ben gently tapped her on the shoulder — she fell asleep with her face pressed against the pole she was leaning against the night before.

_Great job, Ava Sallow!_

“I’ll take it from here.” Ben gave her a kind smile.

She got up and went inside. The cabin didn’t look half as bad as she'd imagined. A little kitchen with a round wooden table and four chairs. Ava made a mental note to ask Ben if he conjured two extra chairs this morning or if they had been there when they arrived. 

As soon as she sat down, Jacob put a cup of coffee in front of her, taking a seat on the chair across.

“Sorry, I’ll have to get us breakfast later. We’re out of provisions — didn’t expect any guests.”

“That’s alright.” She responded and then added after a moment of hesitation, “Wait, where do you do the grocery shopping?”

“We usually don’t. There was always food here until.. you know.”

“Oh..”

“And when we go on missions we either bring extra provisions with us or..” He paused.

_Really? You don’t trust me at all?_

She tilted her head to the side and gave him a stare.

“Sometimes we take the Polyjuce Potion. When we have to go under cover, we take full advantage of it.” He quickly added, “It doesn’t happen often.”

“So do those potions just appear here? Or I guess used to?”

“Yes.. Dumbledore really thought it through.” Jacob shrug. “He took care of a number of things for us. Not sure what we’re going to do, some of the potion ingredients are rare. We have enough Sleeping Draught and Skele Gro to last us for another month or so. But we’re low on Essence of Dittany.”

“If I can pass a list of what you need to Penny..”

“Penny? Too risky.”

“She started brewing months ago. Her potion closet is pretty stocked up on things we may need.”

Jacob considered the offer for a moment.

“Maybe..” His expression softened. 

Ava finally had a chance to take a good look at her brother in the daylight. Jacob looked a lot like her.

 _He got the dad’s chin though. Which is unlucky._ She smiled to herself.

Jacob was 10 years her senior. It was strange to think of him as a man in his mid-thirties. He looked older — the life on the run did him no favors. She saw small wrinkles around his eyes, a big one on his forehead. The skin on his face was dry and a little red on his cheeks, possibly from spending long hours outside. Waiting under cover for someone or something.

_His scars._

_Always the scars._

He rolled the sleeves of his shirt up. A long pink scar went from his wrist upwards, she couldn’t tell where it ends, its end hid under his sleeve. Not to mention the one his head, behind his left ear. She noticed it earlier but didn’t want to ask — the hair will never grow on that spot. His hair was very short but Ava was almost certain she could see grey in it now. And then a few small scars on both of his arms, like someone tried to stab him him but kept missing. 

_Cuts._

_From a blade._

_Oh, Jacob._

She wondered what could have he become if he hadn’t spent more than half of his life on the run. She imagined having him over at her place in New York. Having a Christmas Eve dinner at their parents’ home. Jacob sitting to the right from her dad at that seat that’s been empty for years, chatting and laughing, passing her Cranberry Sauce. His arms with neither cuts nor scars. Maybe their dad’s watch on his wrist, the one he promised to pass along to Jacob on his 17th birthday and never had. 

He’s 34.. Maybe he would have brought his children over as well — they could have been at Hogwarts by now, her brother’s imaginary kids. Maybe he wouldn’t have been lonely. 

Perhaps, his heart would have healed after..

“Pip!” Jacob said and Ava snapped out of her imagination, “you’re falling asleep. Go get some rest.” Jacob nodded towards one of the doors. “You and Ben can take that bedroom.”

_Maybe it’s a good idea._

The bedroom was small and had two cots pushed against the opposite walls. Her backpack rested on top of the one on the right, by the only window.

As soon as Ava’s head touched the pillow, she fell asleep.

***

She felt a touch through her dream, someone caressed her cheek with the palm of their hand lightly. Ava was too tired to open her eyes.

When she was finally awoke, there was no one there. Only Ben was sleeping on the bed across from hers. After a rather cold shower and a change of clothes, Ava went back into the kitchen. 

_Empty._

She stepped outside, the sun was beginning to set. 

_It must be past 7._

She didn’t realize she was asleep for so long. But it was no surprise — she hasn’t slept since before Bill’s wedding, the comfort of Penny’s apartment seemed like a distant memory. 

She went towards the trees and stopped right in front of the protective walls. She couldn’t see them, of course, but she felt a familiar magic resonate off them — Jacob must have casted most of the spells. She pulled her wand from her pocket and started casting, just like Jacob instructed her to earlier. Ben would join her as soon as he wakes up.

Suddenly, she felt someone near her.

She froze, unable to face him. 

He brought his lips close to her ear.

“Ava..” The sound of his low voice sent a sensation down her stomach.

Just the way he says her name was heated.

She closed her eyes and swallowed.

_How does he manage to do that to me?_

With all of her Gryffindor courage, she turned around to face him.

“I didn’t know you were back.” 

“Got back about an hour ago. “ Talbott replied. 

“I.. can we talk?”

_“Can we talk?” What’s wrong with you, you idiot._

He looked at her, a faint smile on his lips.

“We have all the time in the world now.”

She looked at him again, because she is weak. 

“Oh, Ben is up!” Ava exclaimed before she could come up with anything else. She was thankful to see a familiar silhouette walking out of the cottage. 

Talbott turned around to face Ben and that’s when she saw it.

_Blood._

“Merlin, Talbott, your back! What happened?” He was bleeding through his shirt.

“It’s taken care of.” He seemed calm.

“You’re bleeding! Ben, can you grab the Essence of Dittany? I have some in my bag.”

“He said he’s fine.”

A voice came from behind their backs, from the forest.

_How did they get so good at quietly sneaking up on me?_

“Jacob, he’s bleeding,” Ava said, irritated. “I’m just going to take a look at the wound, it’s not going to take long.” She tried reasoning with her brother.

“Are you ready?” Jacob asked Talbott ignoring Ava completely.

Talbott nodded in response.

“Alright. You two thought you were ready for the real world — here’s a chance for you to prove yourself. Talbott and I need to take care of something. We will be back in 7 days.”

“Jacob, we can help..”

“No.” He said, his tone serious, “You are not going to get in the way. After we leave here, you have 10 minutes to think where you’re going to apparate. You will need to decide quickly — I am not letting you stay here when I can’t be sure it’s safe.”

“Well I guess we could..” Ben seemed to have an idea.

“I do not need to know where you’re going, this is your problem.” Jacob turned to Ava, “You’ve figured our the cabin’s location by now — you’ll have no issue apparating back here. We will meet you exactly at 7 in the evening, not a minute late.” 

He turned around and started walking away.

Talbott gave her a long stare and left without saying a word.

“Earth to Ava!” Ben exclaimed.

“What?” She asked, confused.

“Ava, you’ve been staring at the forest for at least a minute and a half now. They are gone! Your brother was pretty fucking clear. We have 10 minutes to get ready to leave and get to the apparition point.”

_What the hell was that? Where did they go?_

“Never mind, I’ll go get the bags.” Ben said.

***

Ava and Ben were quickly walking through the forest. 

“Back to Bill’s?” Ben suggested.

“No, all the Weasleys are under surveillance now. Definitely not a good idea.” She responded. “Penny’s place is not an option either, they are trying to lay low and gather intel, we can’t blow their cover.”

“What about Jae’s?”

“I don’t even know where he lives.”

_Merlin’s balls, where does he live?_

“You’ve been shagging for years and you don’t even know..”

“Ben, not now!” She stopped in her tracks. “We’re at the spot.” She grabbed him by the hand.

“So,” He asked, “where to?”

“We’re going to Tonks’ house.”

“She’s going to be pissed.”

***

“Not what I expected.” Ben couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Ben, you can’t compare every magical home in the country to the Burrow. Its unique even by the wizard standards.”

The two-story red brick construction served as both the Tonks family residence and a safe-house for the Order. Ava didn’t want to put anyone’s life in any more danger but they really didn’t have another option. And if Tonks lets them crash there this week, maybe they can contact the others, check on what’s going on. 

Nonetheless, she expected Tonks to be pissed. Maybe she’ll jinx them, maybe she’ll yell at them, maybe she’ll ask them to get out. 

She sighed and knocked on the door.

Ava did not expect what happened next.

A witch that opened the door had boring mid length dirty-blonde hair and puffy eyes, red from crying. She was wearing a silly blue pajamas with tiny little kneazles all over.

“Tonks, what in Merlin's name happened to you?” Ben blurted out.

Instead of an answer, Tonks bent down and puked on his shoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone for your wonderful feedback, I feel so undeserving of it, but very, very thankful.
> 
> I realize that it may not be the chapter that #teamT has been hoping for with more questions than answers and for that, I'm sorry. I'm just beginning to set the dynamic between the characters, so I do hope you enjoy this version of Talbott.


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